


The Closet

by makise_kurisu



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Anal Fingering, Boys Kissing, Eventual Smut, Kissing, M/M, Masturbation, Masturbation in Shower, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Sexual Tension, Shower Sex, Surprise Kissing, ereri
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-30
Updated: 2016-08-11
Packaged: 2018-07-19 06:05:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 27,313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7348099
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/makise_kurisu/pseuds/makise_kurisu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eren is confined to the cellar at night, and most of the day due to Captain Levi's meticulous cleaning regime. Life seems pretty dull for Eren, whose main task is to repetitively clean the entire cellar, except for a single locked closet for which only Levi has the key. As Eren ponders what could possibly lie in the closet, an interesting encounter in Eren's bedroom leaves him wondering more about his captain, and what else Levi could be keeping from him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Sweet Dreams

**Author's Note:**

> So this is my first ever fanfic, I've finally given in and accepted that this just has to be written. This is hopefully going to be a nice mix of fluff and smut. I'm not used to having to pace a story like this so it may or may not be quite a slow build, but I promise some quite juicy bits once it gets going.
> 
> I'm not quite sure exactly what I'm doing with the uploading, so I apologise if the formatting isn't quite right at first. I also have almost no concept of pacing, so bear with me on that.
> 
> Anyway, let's enjoy sinning together.

“This is sloppy work kid, do it over,” Captain Levi sighs and turns to leave.

“But sir, again?” I reply. This is the third time today that Levi has ordered me to clean the storage room in the cellar. Since my sleeping quarters are in the basement of the old castle I am expected to keep them clean to the captain’s exacting specifications. He doesn’t even stop walking away to reply.

“While you’re under my roof, you’ll follow my rules. Now back to work.” Why is Levi always such a stickler for cleanliness? It is only a storage room, nobody ever comes in here apart from Captain Levi, and he only comes in to get cleaning supplies. It’s a room full of cleaning supplies, like they even need to be kept clean anyway. It seemed like a fruitless exercise, Levi always ends up going over all my cleaning by himself after I’m done. I sigh and turn back to the empty stone room. It’s dark and damp in here but I’ve been down here so long I can easily make out the features of the room. There are no items of interest in the room; shelves of cloths and bottles with foul-smelling cleaning fluid line the walls, and due to the fact there are no windows in here, there is a single torch hanging on the wall providing light to the room.

The one curiosity is a large locked closet for which only Levi owns a key. I eye the closet suspiciously and presume it is filled with premium cleaning supplies of some sort that only Levi is qualified to use. In the few weeks I’ve lived in this cellar, I’ve never once seen him open the closet though, so maybe it’s something I’m not supposed to know about. The door is fastened with a huge metal lock and chain, so even if I wanted to peek in there I wouldn’t be able to. As I ponder what lies beyond that old wooden door my stomach growls loudly in pain. How long has it been since lunch again?

“On second thought Eren, you’re done here”. I pull my eyes from the closet to meet Levi’s; the captain has stopped in the doorway and turns to face me. His face is as stern and emotionless as ever, and his eyes are cold and boring into my own.

“Sir?”

“I guess you have to eat sometime.”

“Thank you sir,” I reply before hastily storing the cleaning equipment away and heading out the door. As I pass the captain at the threshold I can smell his scent; it’s crisp and fresh like clean laundry but with a somewhat earthy undertone, reminding me of the way mom’s clean bedsheets would smell as they swayed in the wind on the clothes line back home. Such a familiar smell… I feel my heart flutter a little at the thought and I push the memory from my mind as I pass the captain. I can feel his cold eyes on me as I walk along the dark damp corridor of the cellar and I consider asking if the captain will be coming to dinner but think better of it and continue walking in silence. He’d probably say something like ‘what business is it of yours?’ anyway.

I turn my attention towards food; I hadn’t realised how hungry I was. I’ve had nothing to eat since lunch and only a small piece of bread and some watery soup then. At the end of the corridor I look over my shoulder back at the captain, who remains cross-armed in the doorway of the storage room with his back to me. Come to think of it, I never see Captain Levi eat with the rest of the scouting regiment. Why doesn’t he eat? What does he do instead? I push the thought out of my mind and continue up the stone steps out of the cellar.

Soon I can feel the cold damp air change to warm and muggy as I step outside. It is already mostly dark outside and getting colder by the second. The moon is high in the sky covered by a thin layer of wispy clouds and the horizon is lined by a faint shade of pink following the sunset. It is a still but warm evening. As I walk towards the promise of food I can hear the geese honking overhead chasing the sun, but they soon drowned out by the sound of my stomach rumbling viciously and I quicken my pace. I round the corner of the castle and run towards the dining hall.

“Eren, you’re late,” Armin notes as I crash through the heavy dining hall doors. The smell of hot soup is intoxicating and I soon sniff out the direction of the food and make a beeline towards it, past my friends’ table, and grab as much food as I can manage before heading back to the table.

“Yeah… sorry… I… cleaning,” I manage to say between mouthfuls of bread. Sasha is eyeing up my soup, and leans over the table towards me with a crazed look in her eye.

“By the way, the soup… has MEAT in it!” My eyes widen and I grab frantically at my spoon before shovelling hot soup into my mouth. It’s boiling and it burns my mouth but it’s delicious beyond belief. I don’t even care exactly what animal it is.

After I slowly come around from my food coma several minutes later I ask the table where on earth they found meat.

“I heard that they found an old stash of cured meats in the kitchen cellar last night,” Armin informs everyone.

“I don’t care where they found it or what it is, meat is meat,” Connie chirps in. Sasha nods.

“And it’s delicious! Even the squad leaders don’t usually have meat.” Wait a minute, the captain is missing out on a meat dinner. Does he know about it? If so, why would you give up on the taste of meat for the first time in months? The conversation continues for a while about the source of the mysterious meat before turning to the more mundane topic of tomorrow’s training exercise. Apparently the new scouting regiment recruits are to do another exercise in horse control, reinforcing their abilities to guide their horses through stressful and potentially dangerous environments while building up the all-important personal connection with their horse. It’s a dull and repetitive exercise that we’ve already completed several times in the past few weeks, and one we have come to loathe.

“At least we know Jean is making good progress with his horse; it’s far easier to make friends with your own species,” I joke with a smirk. Of course this is well received by everyone on the table and they break out into laughter, except from Jean, who glares at me from the other end of the table, practically steaming. After a few seconds of dagger stares he shouts across to me.

“Oh I see, you looking for trouble tonight Jeager?”

“Depends on whether you’re bringing it to the table or not, horse face.”

“Come on guys, will you cut it out?” Armin squeaks. I know he’s only looking out for me but Jean just really pushes my buttons, and everyone else is laughing anyway. There’s nothing wrong with a little teasing, if you can dish it out you have to be able to take it too. 

“Will you quit saying that already, that’s not my name.”

“Well, it would be a lot easier if you didn’t look so much like one. But you’re right, I’m sorry… Jean-Bo.” 

“Right, that’s it. I don’t care if you’re a titan or not, I can still kick your ass.”

“I’d like to see you try.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Bring it on!” Both Jean and I slam our hands down on the table simultaneously and throw ourselves on our feet, leaning over the table towards each other with gritted teeth. We stare each other down for a few seconds before a concerned Armin chirps in.

“Um… Guys…?” I shoot a look down at Armin and notice that the whole table is now silent. Scratch that, the whole room is silent. The new recruits are looking up at us with wide excitable eyes. If I didn’t know better, I’d think they wanted us to get into a fight. After all, it’s been a while since any of us saw some action, titan or not. The officers however do not look so impressed. Erwin is eyeing us from under his thick eyebrows and even Hanji is frozen with a glass of water halfway to her lips. Her eyes look a little crazy now I mention it, is she hoping I’ll do something crazy like transform right here and now?

Only Eld is half-standing, presumably getting ready to walk over and pull us off each other if things get dirty. I guess without Levi here, he’s the one that has to do his dirty work if anything happens with me. Mikasa is also half on her feet, brows furrowed in her usual don’t-mess-with-Eren glare, her hands pushing off the table ready to spring into action. No need, I’ll bite my tongue and swallow my pride for now. I’ll get Jean back tomorrow during the training exercise.

“Whatever,” Jean breathes, and sinks down back into his seat looking nonchalant.

“Yeah, that’s enough horsing around for now,” I manage to get in before Jean shoots up and lands a solid punch on my right cheek.

“What the hell?!” Suddenly there are hands on me holding me down in my seat, and the same with Jean. I’m steaming at this point, Jean got a pretty good punch in and I didn’t even hit him once. My heart is thumping in my chest just waiting for me to lunge at him. Whatever. I’m obviously in no position to struggle out of this tangle of arms to fight someone. I’ll just get him back later. And twice as hard.

“Dinner is over, back to your barracks.” I hear a low voice boom over the quiet chatter of the other scouts. It’s Erwin. The sound of wooden benches scraping over the floor fills the room and everyone leaves. Sasha is giggling to Connie about that ‘horsing around’ comment; yeah, I thought that was a pretty good one too. The hands holding Jean down are lifted and he gets up before sneering at me and turning to leave. He’s won this one but just wait. My heart is still beating wildly and my hands are shaking, begging to be let free and thrown into Jean’s face. Only after the others have left am I released. I turn to see Eld and Petra glaring at me.

“Come on Eren, you know better than that,” Petra sighs before turning to clear away her plates. Eld says nothing and leaves silently, joining Erwin still at the table.

“You are excused,” Erwin informs me, at which I take the hint and leave the officers at the head table and head off back to the cellar.

The air had become colder and the new recruits huddle together as they make their way to their barracks. I watch as everyone walks with their backs to me into the chill black night and wonder how long it will take before the captain trusts me enough to let me live with my friends in the barracks instead of in the cellar. As the last few recruits disappear into the black, I feel a sigh pass my lips and turn left towards the cellar entrance. Suddenly I feel a hand grab my arm and turn to see a concerned Mikasa who had obviously waited behind to speak to me.

“Don’t worry Eren, it won’t be for long. They’ll realise you’re not a monster and you’ll get to stay with the rest of us.”

“Thanks Mikasa, but somehow I don’t think so.” My eyes evade hers and I turn my back to her before continuing walking towards the cellar. “Night!” I call to her. She doesn’t reply but I can sense that she’s still there watching me. Soon I’m at the cellar door and push it open before escaping the cold black air. Not that the cellar is much warmer, but it manages to trap some of the heat from during the day which prevents me from freezing to death at night. That and Captain Levi, I guess. It isn’t that bad sleeping in the basement, at least Levi is there to give me some company, although Levi mostly sits at his desk doing paperwork in silence.

“While you’re in dreamland, you’ll be in shackles.” I recall the captain informing me this on our arrival at the castle. For the first few weeks this was true, the captain would let me exercise or read until he was finished with his paperwork, after which I was shackled to the bed until morning. After a few nights, however, Levi had stopped putting me in shackles, mainly because he would stay up all night writing at his desk; on rare occasions he would fall asleep at his desk and forget about me entirely.

It was on these nights that I would sit for the few hours he was asleep and watch the captain from my bed. It is fascinating to watch humanity’s strongest completely vulnerable and utterly harmless asleep at his desk. I was somehow transfixed with the way the captain’s chest rose and fell with each deep breath, or the way his mouth fell slightly open as he slept, slumped over his work, pen still in hand. When he woke up there would be a small red circle imprinted on his forehead from being pressed against the desk, which of course I never mentioned to him.

Perhaps most peculiar is that on other nights, when the captain didn’t fall asleep at his desk, he would get into my bed and sleep there next to me. At first, I was left astounded by this and only managed to stutter when the captain ordered me to move over and proceeded to lie down next to me. The captain fell asleep instantly, while I was left speechless and unable to move for fear of waking a tired and grumpy Levi.

The captain never gave me an explanation for this, but at least now I had gotten used to sharing my bed, and can fall asleep relatively easily next to Levi instead of spending my nights staring at the ceiling, eyes wide open with the shock and fear of my captain sleeping next to me. At least the shared body heat helps keep me warm; I only get a single cotton sheet to sleep under at night. It’s only a single bed, but thankfully the captain is quite small, so space isn’t an issue.

Looking back, it is obvious that Levi craved some form of closeness with me; he could have easily made his way to his own bed, located across the hall from my bedroom. I would have been in shackles for the entire night anyway and therefore relatively harmless, but Levi chose my bedroom instead. Tonight is no exception. As I enter the cellar I note that Captain Levi is nowhere to be seen. I make my way across the cold stone floor to my ‘bedroom’ - a cell that had been converted into a basic bedroom to keep me somewhat comfortable, featuring a bed and small dresser for my clothes. There is a small torch mounted on the wall as the only source of light in the room at night. I also have a candle on the table next to my bed for reading, but it is mostly Levi that uses it. As I round the corner of the long stone corridor towards my cell, I find a small Levi-shaped lump under the bedsheets, which must mean the captain is already in the bed. At this I stop in my tracks and freeze; if I wake Levi up, there is no telling how grumpy he could be, and that terrifies me.

“Don’t freak out kid, I’m not asleep,” I hear the lump say. My shoulders relax and I continue on towards the cell and close the iron bar door behind me. I start to get ready for bed but I can feel eyes on me and I suddenly become somewhat reluctant to remove my trousers. Facing away from Levi, I take them off before folding them, and putting them away in the dresser. I pull off my shirt and replace it with a fresh bed shirt from the dresser before turning back to the captain. As I approach the bed, I notice that Levi is lying on his back in the centre of the bed, holding a book above his face with one hand.

“Um, sir, you’ll need to move over.” I am hesitant to ask, but it is only fair. This is my bed, Levi did have his own if he wanted a bed to himself. The captain shifts over to one side and I slide into bed beside him before turning to face away from him as per usual. As attractive as the captain is, it is impossible to fall asleep facing him; I could stay up for hours looking at him, and I have done in the past. As I relax into the soft and already warm mattress, I can feel the soft skin on my cheek starting to form a bruise. Fucking horse face. How did he get such a good blow in and I couldn’t even respond before everyone freaked out? I note that my arms are aching, probably due to the earlier cleaning today and my eyelids are suddenly remarkably heavy. I didn’t even realise how tired I am. Wait a minute, Levi never ate dinner. How is his stomach not rumbling? Isn’t he hungry? He missed out on meat…

“You got into trouble again today, didn’t you brat?” Levi asks suddenly, making me start. I swallow nervously. I was hoping that I would be able to get away with this one and just go to sleep without a lecture about controlling my behaviour. I turn my head and look over my shoulder at him, gritting my teeth in a tell-all half smile. He’s still lying on his back but has lowered his book and is looking right at me with those piercing grey-blue eyes. His lips are relaxed and slightly parted and his black hair falls loosely over his forehead. His eyebrows aren’t furrowed in their usual frown; he’s clearly not angry with me, which I guess is good. Am I staring? I turn to look away at the ceiling instead.

“You’re getting a bruise on your cheek.” He says matter-of-factly. I raise my hand to my cheek and feel the squishy flesh beneath it. It’s more painful than I expected and I wince at the touch.

“You need to learn to control yourself Eren. It’s no use you going off like this if you’re only going to end up getting hurt yourself.”

“Yes sir,” I reply. What else can I say? I feel like I’m being told off by one of my parents. I can’t argue with him really, Jean didn’t really do anything to provoke me earlier, just him being there was enough. My thoughts turn to the training exercise tomorrow, another pointless horse relationship exercise. Not wanting to go, I decide to test the waters.

“Sir… How important is this training exercise tomorrow?” I ask. Honestly, I don’t feel like spending the whole day training with actual horses, not to mention horse face.

“Well, if you’d rather stay here and clean…” he remarks, smirking. I manage to let out a soft chuckle.

“Um, thank you sir, but I think I do have to go tomorrow,” I reply. Anything to get out of cleaning really. After a moment of silence I feel a little braver and decide to ask about dinner.

“Sir, if you don’t mind me asking… You weren’t at dinner today, and there was meat… I guess I’m asking why you never show up at dinner.”

“What do you care, brat?” Levi replies sharply.

“Well, aren’t you hungry? All we do is clean all day, you must work up an appetite,” I argue. Maybe I’m pushing it.

“And what business is it of yours?” he snaps in my ear. I hate going to sleep with people angry with me, so I decide to drop the issue and stay silent. I’m sure if there were an issue with dinner I would have heard about it; Levi must just be doing paperwork while the rest of us eat. There’s nothing to worry about. Levi turns his head back and lifts up his book again. I gradually notice that my arms are aching more and more and my eyelids are getting heavier. Listening to Levi’s soft breathing behind me, my troubled thoughts leave my mind, my eyes finally close and I drift off into sleep.

***

My heavy eyelids lift open slowly to sunlight streaming in through the high windows, the cell bars casting long shadows on the wall opposite. I can hear the soft morning song of birds outside and the wind and leaves brushing against the outside of the windows while a warm breeze caresses my cheek and neck exposed from the covers of the bed; it is a calm early spring morning. As my senses slowly return to me, I notice that my arms seem even heavier than last night and I can hardly move them, no doubt a result of the excessive cleaning from yesterday. I can still hear Levi’s soft, slow breaths behind me but they seem somewhat louder and closer than before, and I suspect that the captain has turned over in his sleep and is now facing me. I slowly lift my heavy head to look back over my shoulder at the captain, expecting to see his perfectly sculpted face laying in the bed across from me.

But his face isn’t at the other side of the bed. Levi’s face is inches from my own, his eyes closed and his mouth slightly open. He’s still asleep, breathing deep warm breaths onto my neck. I stare blankly at him until my blurry eyes finally focus on his face. It is only then that I find that my arms are heavy not because of the cleaning yesterday, but because Levi’s arms are snaked over my own and are weighing them down. My right hand is cupped in Levi’s, our fingers interlaced. His finger are warm and soft and my skin tingles under their touch. I can feel the rise and fall of the captain’s chest warm against my back. What is going on? The captain only usually sleeps for a few hours every night anyway, does that mean he was awake when this started?

For what feels like hours, I lie still listening to Levi’s soft breaths brush the back of my neck. Eventually, Levi stirs and unlaces his fingers from mine before rolling onto his back as he had been lying the previous evening. Unsure of what to do or say, I remain perfectly still and looking away until Levi speaks suddenly, making me jump.

“Wakey wakey Jaeger, you’ve got a full day of training ahead of you.” Levi’s voice is rough and deep.

“Ye… yes sir,” I manage to stutter. Levi pulls back the covers and stands up to stretch his arms, before crossing the room to the dresser. I watch as he opens the doors and pulls out a clean shirt and trousers. His inky black hair is uncharacteristically messy; I savour Levi’s scruffy appearance, it isn’t often that the captain appears so disorganised. The look gives him some sort of humanity, perhaps vulnerability. Levi pulls the beige trousers up over his defined calves and thighs and buttons them around his waist. Levi turns to face me, the streaming sunlight casting deep shadows across his chiselled abs.

“What’s the matter kid? Nothing you haven’t seen before,” Levi says gruffly, looking up at me. I am suddenly aware that my heart is beating wildly in my chest and I pull his eyes away from Levi’s before sitting up in bed. Levi turns away and continues to dress, pulling his shirt over his wide shoulders before fixing his hair into place. My eyes scan the room and settle on the sheet covering my lower body, before my arms frantically yank the cotton up around my chin and I quickly cross my legs. I can feel my cheeks flushing red. Did Levi notice? What if he noticed? This is so embarrassing; while I could have blamed my erection on it being the early morning, a part of me knows that’s not the only cause. I close my eyes and will the intrusive erection away as quickly as I can. Think of Armin naked, think of my mom, think of anything but Levi… Finally I manage to push whatever thoughts were plaguing my body out of my mind and my erection disappears. What on earth happened? I’ve seen the captain almost naked before, but this time is somehow different.

“Go have breakfast and then you can start with that supply closet before you leave,” Levi remarks, startling me, as he leaves the cell and makes his way to his desk.

“Yes sir,” I reply hastily. I finally manage to push away all thoughts of the captain’s warm breath, soft skin, and the feel of his arms draped lazily over my own, fingers interlaced… No, stop it. I shake my head and turn my thoughts towards the long day of training I have ahead before finally dragging myself out of bed.


	2. Revenge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren recovers from his morning with Levi and is dreading the upcoming training exercise. Trying to forget about his altercation with Jean proves too hard and revenge is just too tempting...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It is long past midnight as I finish this because I am going on holiday tomorrow and I don't want to leave you guys without the next chapter for too long, so I apologise if there are some sleep deprived mistakes in there.
> 
> Anyway, enjoy!

I get washed and dressed as fast as possible; the shower is cold and helps to wash away any bodily feelings that are left over from earlier this morning. The memory, however, is still strong as daylight; Levi’s breath on my neck, his porcelain skin just inches from my face, the tingling feeling of that skin on mine, his chest pressing against my back with every deep breath. Levi must have seen my erection this morning, surely. How could he have missed it? I scrub my skin as hard as possible trying to rid myself of the thought. Pulling on my clothes afterwards I realise my skin is redder than usual, I assume because of the excessive scrubbing, and I can’t possibly be sunburned because I have barely seen the sun for the past few days.

I half run to the dining hall for breakfast; I think being tense makes you hungrier somehow and my stomach is already aching. It’s already sticky hot outside and being only the morning, I can tell it’s going to be sweltering by the time our training exercise begins, which just adds to my reluctance to go. At least four hours sitting on a hot horse in the simmering heat, having to listen to Jean brag about getting a punch in yesterday doesn’t sound too appealing. If he says anything else, I’ll have to put him in his place this time. I can’t have my friends thinking that I’m not able to stand up for myself; besides, if he’s willing to dish out punches he’ll have to learn to take them too.

I enter the hall and see my friends already eating breakfast in their usual seats; Armin and Mikasa chatting at one end, Sasha stuffing her face in the middle next to Reiner and Bertholt, and Jean blabbing to Connie at the other end. The training exercise doesn’t begin until midday, so I still have to spend a few hours cleaning in Levi’s company until I get to escape. As much as I admire the captain, I don’t exactly feel like spending the whole morning with him, especially after what happened earlier. Then again, I don’t feel like having to put up with horse face and that stupid training exercise either. There’s nothing happening today that I’m going to enjoy, I just wonder which activity will irritate me the least and try to focus on that.

“What’s up with you?” Connie questions me as I sit down at the table. They’re all still eating so at least I don’t feel like I have to rush my food to catch up like usual.

“What?” I ask. I’m barely paying attention, focussing instead on stuffing thick slices of bread and jam into my mouth as fast as possible.

“You’re all red in the face, you look like a tomato or something,” he replies. I try not to choke on my breakfast and slap my hands to my cheeks. Surely I’m not still rattled from this morning? As Connie had said, they are steaming hot to the touch, and no doubt bright red. The revelation only makes my face hotter and I push the back of my hands against my cheeks to attempt to cool them down, while ignoring the stares I’m getting.

“Don’t tell me you’ve gotten sick,” Mikasa sighs in her most motherly tone as she claps a hand on my forehead before sharply removing it. “Ouch. It’s hot.”

“Of course it’s hot, he’s a damn titan. Did you expect him to be cold?” Jean asserts from the other end of the table.

“It’s nothing,” I retort, pushing Mikasa away from me. “I’m fine.” I look down and return to my breakfast but I can still feel eyes on me.

“If you’re getting a cold you should really tell Squad Leader Hanji. She’ll probably want to run some tests,” Armin informs me, turning back to his breakfast.

“I’m fine,” I repeat. I definitely feel hot, but I don’t feel sick. I must still be subconsciously thinking about this morning – for god’s sake Eren get a grip. It’s not like it’s that big a deal, Levi has probably already forgotten all about it, right? Hopefully all this will all go away once I forget about it and just move on already.

After a while, everyone finishes eating and we go our separate ways to complete our morning chores. Everyone else will be cleaning the castle exterior, while I’m stuck in the dark, underground, and ironically only a few meters away. What I wouldn’t give just to not clean the cellar for once. I’ll take weeding, cleaning out the horses, literally anything that isn’t cleaning the same room in the cellar over and over again. I head down into the dark and find Levi still at his desk. He lifts his eyes up to greet me and they follow me across the room.

“Start with that supply room. If you do a good job I might let you go outside and pull up the weeds with your friends,” Levi asserts from his desk.

“Yes, sir,” I reply. Coming from Levi, that’s a pretty good deal. Looks like we’re thinking along the same wavelength for once. I get to work on the supply room once again and make a promise to push myself extra hard with the cleaning this time; any opportunity to spend more time with my friends is worth the extra work. Levi lifts up from his seat and walks towards the door.

“I’m going for breakfast. You should be done by the time I get back,” he calls while leaving. I take a deep breath and tell myself this cellar is going to be absolutely spotless by the time he comes back.

***

If I wasn’t hot before, I definitely am now. I spent at least two hours cleaning this room over and over, and I’ve moved on to sweeping the rest of the cellar as a change of scenery. This was especially refreshing since the sunlight from the window in the cellar was now streaming through the open door into the storage room, making it unbearably hot in there. I had gotten so bored of cleaning the same familiar four corners of the room, I had tried pulling Levi’s forbidden closet forward to attempt to clean behind it, but it was remarkably heavy and I gave up almost immediately. If Levi wanted his closet clean, he would have told me what’s in it so I would know if I could move it or not, and go from there.

I can no longer smell anything other than bleach and cleaning fluid, my knees are unbearably sore, and my fingers are red raw from scrubbing the floor with a damp cloth. I can hear faint footsteps coming down the corridor and I turn to see Captain Levi picking at his fingernails as he walks towards me.

“Alright brat, you can go. Your friends are outside.” He hasn’t even looked up at me, hasn’t even inspected my cleaning yet, but I don’t care, and I don’t wait around long enough for him to change his mind. The cleaning supplies are stored away and I hastily make my way towards the door.

“Thank you, sir!” I practically run out the room. I half-jog down the hallway before bursting through the outer doors into the bright sun and fresh air. I spend the rest of the morning and early afternoon weeding the courtyard with my friends, which is a welcome break from working in the damp and dark all day. When the weather is good, the captains let us eat lunch outside, as long as we clean up afterwards, so I get to eat with my friends too. It’s remarkably refreshing doing chores with friends instead of under Levi’s watchful eye. At first, he would never let me out of his sight, but now he lets me more or less go where I like, at least for meals and chores. At any rate, I get to savour these few hours before that dreaded training exercise…

***

“Whoa, that’s quite the drop down.” Armin remarks as we round the next corner on the dirt track. On the right is a steep incline and on the left is a sheer drop down, maybe 50 feet; there is only enough room for us to go two at a time down the path and I had ended up next to Armin, who is leaning over to look down at the drop below. Ahead of us is Mikasa and Sasha, ahead of them is Jean and Connie. The sun is beating down on us; the track has no cover or shade on either side, leaving us to saunter through the heat as best we can. There is no wind, and I can hear the conversations of my friends ahead as if they were standing right next to me.

“I’m just saying, it’s remarkable that nobody else has socked that suicidal bastard yet. He just asks for it-” I hear from a few horses in front of me. It’s Jean of course, bragging to Connie about last night.

“Oh come on, it’s not like he’s any more annoying than you,” I hear Connie retort. Well, he’s got that right. Jean merely scoffs at him.

“Eren, you’re not paying attention.” Armin comes into my view and my gaze shifts to him instead.

“Sorry Armin, my mind’s just somewhere else today.” I wasn’t lying. I shake my head, trying to push the thought of getting back at Jean out of my mind and my thoughts automatically turn to this morning instead. Why can’t I stop thinking about that? Sure, the aftermath was embarrassing and certainly memorable but the thing I just can’t shake is the feeling of Levi pressed against me, the smell of his clean bare skin, his crisp mint breath…

“You need to watch where you’re going, if your horse loses footing you’ll go over the edge.” 

“Yeah, yeah.” I’m only half listening to him. The rest of my attention snaps back to Jean flapping his jowls at Connie. He’s smirking as he goes on about me.

“It’s the parent’s fault you know. Lack of discipline. Usually on the mother’s side.” That’s it. All of my emotions culminate in blazing anger and I kick my horse into action, tearing past Mikasa and Sasha towards Jean.

“What about my mother?” I throw my right arm out and plan to whack him as I ride past. If I smack him hard enough, maybe he’ll fall off. Maybe he’ll get injured. Good. I throw my horse at Jeans’ but he turns his head just in time to see me coming. He’s too fast and dodges out the way in time and my arm swings forward fast.

“What the-”. I gain momentum and lose my balance. Before I know it my legs fly free of the stirrups and I’m off the horse. My left shoulder smashes into the ground before my whole body loses contact and suddenly I’m falling. I can feel sharp rocks tugging at my clothes as my body rolls over and repeatedly smashes into the ground before my head hits something. Hard. And then suddenly it’s black.

***

Wh- where am I? I can’t open my eyes, there’s something covering them. What happened?

“Squad Leader Hanji, that’s not exactly how I’d… My god, don’t poke it like that! Squad leader?”

“Oh shush, I’m only having a little look.”

“Wha… whats going on?” I manage to exhale as I come around.

“Oh, Eren you’ve finally come back to us, huh?” I hear Hanji say.

I slowly open one of my eyes but the other eyelid doesn’t budge. Everything is blurry and I’m dizzy, but I can tell I’m lying on the ground with Hanji and I guess Moblit kneeling over me. Hanji is holding my arm up in her hands, wrapping a brown cloth around it. My other arm is lying on the ground. I can feel dirt and sharp little rocks under my hand. There’s dirt under my fingernails. It’s so hot, and the sun is bearing down on me as I lie there staring up at the clear sky. My mouth is so dry I can barely speak.

“What… happened?” I manage to breathe, my voice cracking.

“Well, you took a little tumble over this ridge and broke a bone or two. And your head.”

“My head?” I try to sit up but I’m suddenly dizzy and fall back again into the dirt.

“No no, you stay put for now. Let me finish this and then we’ll get you up, how’s that?” I don’t reply but I don’t struggle either. My mind is hazy, so I hit my head? That’s right, I fell over the cliff. Where is my horse? What do I care, damn stupid horse can’t even run in a straight line. And stupid horse face, this is all his fault; he provoked me. “Good thing we were riding along down here or it would have taken your team quite a while to find you.”

My team? Were they looking for me? Oh god, poor Armin, he must be so worried. Damn, I’m so stupid. Jean wouldn’t have said that stuff if I hadn’t been ragging on him yesterday, and then he wouldn’t have hit me either. Maybe it is my fault; like Levi says, it’s no use me getting so worked up if I’m only going to end up getting hurt. Maybe I do need to control myself more. I’m going to have to face Levi and explain all this to him. What do I say? I can’t exactly lie to him. And he’ll have to write all this down in his daily report. Hanji finishes wrapping up my arm and gives me a drip of water before hauling me onto my feet.

“Sorry there isn’t any more, we were just heading back anyway. How do you feel Eren, dizzy, tingly, like you want to transform?” she asks becoming more and more enthusiastic.

“N- no Squad Leader. I’m fine,” I lie. I am still pretty much blind but the dizziness is slowly fading. Luckily we’re not too far from the castle on horseback, so Hanji and Moblit lift me up and slap me on a horse. At least my head is no longer spinning, but I still can’t see properly and I have to feel around to grab the reins; this is definitely my horse, I can tell by the way the mane hair lies across the neck. Hey, maybe these training exercises aren’t so useless after all, at least I can recognise my own horse now. Hanji and Moblit mount their horses too and walk ahead, leading me back towards the castle.

I’m so disappointed in myself, I can only imagine what Levi is going to say to me when I see him. I’m close to tears, not just because of the pain but because of my own stupidity. After all the dangerous exercises, after Trost, this is what gives me a serious injury and hurts me like hell. It’ll heal soon, I’m sure, but damn it my head aches badly right now. After we reach the castle, my horse is led around the corner to the courtyard where the stables and cellar entrance are located. Levi is sweeping outside and walks over to meet the company. Hanji ties up her horse and then mine, before helping me down.

After coming around, it became clear that my arm was badly broken and Hanji had wrapped it loosely in some fabric that she had to hand as a makeshift sling. I stand still with my head dropped just staring with a half-open eye at my pathetic arm hanging loosely in the fabric. I’m such an idiot. I lift my eyes up from under the bandages and see Levi staring up at me, just inches from my nose. There is blood dripping down right into one of my eyes so I can barely see, but I was wrong. Levi isn’t angry with me at all; in fact, his expression is anything but angry. He always seems so calm and collected when something goes wrong; it’s almost scary to see his face contorted like that. His brows are furrowed and his mouth is hanging open as he stares at the blood soaked bandages covering my head. He’s squinting, as if trying to get a good view of the damage.

“What happened?” he asks in his usual deep calm tone, despite his expression.

“Poor boy took a tumble off his horse, then down a hill – split his head right open. I’m sure it’ll heal soon though, right Eren?” Hanji slaps me hard on the back.

“Uhh, sure?” I manage to whisper. Suddenly the stupidity of my actions hits me and I can’t believe I’m going to have to explain this to Captain Levi. Tears sting in my eyes and a few fall down over my cheeks as I stare at the floor.

“Leave him to me,” Levi tells Hanji. Oh god, what is he going to do to me? He doesn’t give anything away in his voice, it’s always the same monotonous tone. I can just imagine the amount of cleaning he’s going to make me do for this, I bet I won’t even see the sun for a week. Is he going to beat me?

“Don’t be too hard on him, what he really needs is rest,” Hanji informs Levi as she hands him a sheet of torn paper, and turns to leave. Levi grabs my arm firmly and pulls me sharply through the cellar door and down the stairs. I’m basically blind, but having lived down here for so long I could probably walk this corridor in the pitch dark anyway. Despite what may come, it’s so refreshing to be in the shade. Levi is silent for the entire walk.

“Get on the bed,” Levi snaps as soon as we enter the main cellar chamber, handing me a flask of water from on his desk.

“Uhh, yes sir,” I whimper. The bottle is already unscrewed and I immediately throw back the satisfyingly cool water with my one good arm, gasping for air only when I have emptied the entire bottle. How long was I lying out in the sun? I walk from the captain’s desk to my bedroom and lower myself nervously onto the bed. Levi is reading the notes on the torn paper with one hand, the other fishing around in the drawer under his desk - oh god, he is going to beat me, isn’t he. I can barely stand as it is, let alone if Levi gets his boot in my face again. Violent memories of the courtroom in Trost flood my mind.

“I’m guessing shitty glasses didn’t have time to clean you up properly in the field,” Levi says as he approaches me. He’s holding a small wooden box with a handle which he places down on the bed before unhinging the clips and lifting the lid. Whatever I thought was in there, I didn’t expect it to be bandages. Levi kneels down directly in front of me and rolls his sleeves up past his elbows. He takes my arm gently in his hand, lifting it up slowly. Pain shoots from my wrist right up my arm and I can feel pins sticking into in my shoulder. I wince and instinctively try to pull my arm away from Levi, but he doesn’t let go. He flicks his eyes up to meet mine and behind his usual stoic expression is an undertone of empathy and reassurance, not frustration and anger as I had first expected. He holds my gaze and my arm for a few moments before turning to the box, unspooling a long white bandage and wrapping it around my arm near the elbow.

“I’m not going to lecture you about this. I think you know what you’ve done,” he says as he works. He’s right, I didn’t just disappoint myself but I’ve disappointed Levi. He’s just like my mother; when I’d done something really bad she wouldn’t shout at me she would just be disappointed, which was much worse. My breath catches in my throat and I can feel tears stinging my eyes again. “I guess we’re lucky that it was you that fell, I doubt anyone else would have been able to survive that. I doubt you feel very lucky though right?” he sniggers.

“You’re being awfully nice to me, sir,” I reply.

“So what?” he snaps back as he continually wraps the bandage around my arm. “If you don’t want me being nice to you I can be a fucking nightmare instead. Don’t get on my bad side kid, especially when I’m doing you a favour.” Seriously Eren? Captain Levi is dressing your arm after some stupid revenge plot, and you question it? Levi finishes wrapping my arm and removes my shirt before moving onto my head bandage. He momentarily leaves the room and returns with a small bowl of water, wets a cloth and applies it to my forehead. He gently rubs the skin, removing the dried blood from my eyebrows and forehead before slowly unwrapping the blood-soaked cloth from around my head.

I can finally open both eyes and after my eyes grow accustomed to the low light of the cellar, I realise exactly how much blood I’ve lost; Levi’s arms are dirty with bloody water as he works on cleaning my head. How can he stand this? I thought he hated being dirty. Levi wipes his hands clean on a cloth before folding a fresh bandage into a long strip and wrapping it slowly around my head, his face close to mine, his eyes meticulously planning where to lay the bandage next. After several minutes of awkward silence, I pipe up again.

“Sir, I’m- I’m sorry,” I squeak.

“Listen brat. I know it’ll heal, but it’s not good for you. You’re important to me, and an important member of the team, and we can’t afford to not have you at your best.” My head hangs and I pull my eyes away from Levi. I need to stop being so selfish. I know that I’m important to the team as a titan, but what’s the point of them keeping me safe in my titan form if I’m just going to go and kill myself in human form before I can be of any use to anyone.

I never really considered that I’d be important to Captain Levi personally. I guess I make a pretty good heater at night in the bed; it can get pretty cold in the cellar. Once Levi finishes with my head bandage, he puts the rest of it away and closes the wooden box. I catch his gaze as he looks up into my eyes.

“Get some rest. I’ll bring you some food later.” Levi slowly lifts himself off the floor and collects the wooden box, turning to leave. “I am going to need to do so much fucking paperwork for this,” he remarks before closing the iron door behind him.

I lie back staring at the ceiling and I can feel a smile forming in the corners of my mouth. ‘You’re important to me.’ The words fly around in my head like spring birds repeating the same song over and over. I pull the bed sheet up to my chin and savour the smell of fresh sheets instead of arid dirt. I’m remarkably calm now, most of the pain has subsided and I close my eyes, relishing the warmth of the sunlight from the windows caressing the bed.

Levi wakes me up a few hours later. It’s much colder now and I pull the bed sheet up to my chest as I sit up in bed. He plants a bowl of soup and a plate of bread on my lap, as well as several slices of cured beef. My eyes widen as the smell of salty meat fills my nostrils.

“Eat.” He quickly returns to his desk.

“Th- thank you, sir!” I wasn’t exactly very hungry but suddenly my appetite has picked up; I scarf down the soup and savour the meat. “Captain, where did you get this?” I ask between hungry mouthfuls.

“None of your business,” Levi responds harshly. He’s sitting at his desk, still writing.

“What time is it?” I ask after I’ve finished eating.

“Maybe 11,” he replies gruffly. I’ve been asleep for over five hours already? “I’m just finishing your paperwork. Your paperwork, brat. I’m still fucking doing it.”

I manage a small chuckle before lying back down. My head is heavy, I assume from my head injury, and sore as it pushes into the soft fluff of the pillow. Levi finishes stacking his completed papers and places them in a pile to one side of his desk before crossing the room to my door. It’s hot tonight so I imagine he’ll want to sleep in his underwear; sure enough, he pulls off his jacket, trousers, and shirt in the methodical way he always does, until he’s stripped down to his pristine white briefs. While I never see him use the bathroom directly before bed, he always smells sweet and clean at night, so he must wash at some point. I know he brushes his teeth at least three times a day because his breath always smells of fresh mint, and he’ll periodically excuse himself from cleaning in order to wash himself. Levi slides into bed next to me and pulls the bed sheet over him, grabbing the book off the night stand. I'm lying on my back when Levi turns to me, his breath smelling as obviously minty as ever.

“You’re bright red,” he declares, staring at me blankly.

“What?” For the second time today I slap my palms up to my cheeks and feel the burning hot skin on my face. Levi drops his book and claps his hand against my forehead.

“You’re very hot. You should go and see Hanji tomorrow.” He doesn’t take his eyes off me but for the second time today I can see his brow furrowed slightly.

“I’m fine sir,” I say and turn over to face away from him, shrugging off his hand. He grabs my shoulder and pulls me back, rolling me over to face him. He looks into my eyes and I can tell he’s deadly serious.

“I’m taking you to Hanji tomorrow,” he tells me defiantly. There’s something in his eyes that tells me he’s not kidding, and concerned. He lifts his hand off me and eyes my bare shoulders before returning to his book; “fuck, you’re hot.” I know I shouldn’t smirk, but for a small moment there, I imagined he wasn’t talking about my temperature.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys enjoyed that one! As I say, it's very late so please excuse the probably obvious spelling/grammar errors.
> 
> The next chapter gets a little more saucy, with something to get your pulse racing, but I can't promise much because I've only written half of it...
> 
> I'm debating having it half Eren's and half Levi's point of view, so let me know if you'd to know what goes on inside Levi's head for half a chapter.
> 
> I'll be back from my holiday in just over a week, so see you then!


	3. Hot Flushes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi discovers he is remarkably good at teasing Eren. Eren recovers from his previous injury but there may be something more sinister lurking around the corner. Hanji has some choice advice for Levi.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has two parts, from Eren and Levi's POV.
> 
> Sorry this chapter update is a week late, I got back from holiday and had almost no motivation. I contemplated drawing this out for longer but smut can't wait so I've written something steamy (literally) that I hope you will all enjoy.

_Eren_

The sunlight creeps across the room and slowly wakes me the next day to the sound of the birds once again. The birds sing differently out here in the countryside to when I was a kid living in the city, and all we had to wake us up in the morning was the harsh honk of geese overhead, and the occasional cockerel. Here the birds sound beautiful and wake you gently, you can pretend the world outside your bedroom doesn’t even exist.

When I drag open my eyes that morning the first thing I see is Levi. It’s not the worst sight first thing in the morning if I’m entirely honest, but I’m not expecting his face to be so close to my own. His hair is always so unbelievable scruffy in the morning, although I’m sure if I told anyone about that fact he would break my legs. His parting always stays the same, just loose strands of hair falling carelessly over his forehead and across his closed eyes. We’re facing each other but he’s considerably smaller than me, so his head is slightly bowed, lying closer to my shoulders or my chest really. His mouth is slightly open; we’re even sharing the same air. His arms are lazily draped over mine but they’re heavy, practically pinning me down. My left knee is slotted between his thighs, and his left between mine.

Levi stirs and it makes me jump. I try to untangle our legs and roll over before he opens his eyes, but I have to push him away from me to do so. If he sees me right in his face I’m pretty much dead. I shove his shoulders away from me to try to wrench my legs free, perhaps a little too hard. And a little too fast. He must have been too close to the edge because suddenly Levi isn’t there anymore. I hear a dull thud from the floor and a sharp intake of breath.

“What the FUCK Jeager?!” I hear him shout from the floor.

“Sir! I’m so sorry!” I squeal. I don’t look up, instead half-sitting up and pulling the bedsheet up to my eyes, trying to pretend the last five seconds didn’t happen. How could such a peaceful situation turn so ugly so fast? I squeeze my eyes tight together, just waiting for Levi’s reply. As he slowly raises himself off the floor, I peek out from underneath my furrowed brows. His face is crimson and his expression is absolutely terrifying. He’s looking right at me, I can tell, but I don’t want to look at him in the eye.

Instead, I try to look anywhere but his face; as he stands, my eyes pan down his body until his crotch is at eye level. Incidentally, his erection is also at eye level. My expression changes from fear to shock and I can feel my mouth drop helplessly. I can’t help but stare at the considerable bulge in his underwear for what feels like forever before letting out a small unwilling nervous laugh. Well what am I supposed to do? Look at this situation. My captain is standing in front of me with his erection sticking right into my face.

“This isn’t funny brat. I’m going to get a fucking bruise,” he snaps, looking down at his arm and rubbing his right elbow. Wait a minute, doesn’t he notice it? I don’t reply, instead pulling my eyes up to his, snapping my mouth shut, and swallowing hard. What do I say? Pretend like I can’t see it? I try to make my expression as ordinary as possible, but I can still feel my eyes practically bulging out of my head straining with the effort of trying not to look down. He obviously notices this somewhat pained expression because I didn’t quite understand the next few words out his mouth.

“What. Like you haven’t seen a cock before,” he declares, placing his hands proudly on his hips.

If I wasn’t uncomfortable before I certainly am now. I stutter some sounds out of my mouth but they don’t really make any words. I’m just staring into his eyes trying to avoid looking at that bulge but I just can’t help it. My eyes keep being drawn down to it. I hear Levi snigger from above me and suddenly his hand is grasping my chin. He grips it firmly and pulls my chin up sharply so my eyes meet his. They’re as stern as usual but there is something else in there too, a sort of glint behind his usual cold exterior. Is he smirking? Levi leans in and is suddenly inches from my face.

“Or maybe you haven’t seen a cock before,” he breathes into me. My breath catches in my throat. What on earth do I say to that? His confident eyes are staring right into me, carefully surveying every inch of my face, flitting between my eyes and my mouth. I can feel his breath hot on my face. He’s so close, and my face is so hot. I don’t know how long we stayed staring at each other like that but my body is unbearably hot now and I’m breathing through my mouth. Practically panting.

“Tsk,” he snaps, before letting go of my chin and straightening up. He holds my gaze for a second before turning walking over towards the dresser. “Well I guess I’m awake now,” Levi remarks before pulling a fresh shirt over his head. I sit up straight in the bed with my mouth agape and wonder what just happened.

“You’re still boiling hot by the way. I’ll be lucky if I don’t get burns as well as fucking bruises,” he says rubbing his arms. “I’m still taking you to see Hanji as soon as you get up.” I look up and over to the captain dressing, still confused. He’s acting as if nothing just happened between us. Maybe that’s the best option here, to try to forget about it. Although that hasn’t seemed to work for me so far considering I couldn’t shake the memory of the last incident either.

“And just because you got hurt yesterday doesn’t mean you can skip out on cleaning,” he informs me. I had completely forgotten about yesterday. I reach up and gingerly touch the bandage around my head. I can feel that it’s no longer bleeding so I gently unpick the edge of the bandage and it falls down across my face. I also realise that I’m using my left arm too, meaning that it must also be healed already. That doesn’t explain why I’m so incredibly hot though, or why my arms still ache so badly. It feels like my bones are too heavy.

Mikasa had said yesterday that I might have been sick, and I hate to admit it but she was probably right. She’s just like my mother; as much as I’d like to ignore her she always ends up being right in the end. Eventually after dressing, Levi leaves the room and I can swing my legs out of bed. It’s been about five minutes since he was holding my face, just inches from me, which has given my erection time to subside. This is the second time this has happened in front of the captain, and presumably because of the captain.

I can’t really explain this weird feeling I get when the captain gets close to me. I mean, it’s painfully obvious that he’s attractive, but I never really considered that I would be attracted to him myself. My body would disagree however; I had recently realised that even when thinking about the captain outside of the bedroom my body would feel strange like this; hot, and uncomfortable. I always would stare when he took his clothes off but I attributed this to fascination and admiration, not attraction. What am I even thinking, he’s my captain. I’m just some kid he has to babysit to make sure I don’t kill anything.

***

“Oh if it isn’t my favourite couple of humanity’s saviours,” Hanji greets us with a beaming smile. I cross the threshold following Levi into her office and Levi crosses the room to throw himself down on the bench behind her.

“The brat has a fever,” Levi informs her from behind me.

“Is that so?” she says with a smile at him. “Well I’ll need you to do a few tests for me.” She places her hands on her hips and leans down to survey my face from just inches away, her eyes narrowed. “That’s if you don’t mind me borrowing him for a little while, of course.” She turns to Levi with a smile and tilts her head to the side. Levi just shrugs.

“Doesn’t matter to me. Just have him back in time to clean the cellar once over today.”

“Deal! Alright Eren, I’m going to need you to sit down over there for a second.” She points to the wooden chair across from her desk. “Levi, can I speak with you outside,” she asks the captain in a more serious tone. Levi reluctantly lifts himself off the bench with a sigh and follows Hanji back out of the room. “Back in a minute, sweetie!” she calls over her shoulder to me with a wave before closing the door behind them.

I can just about hear Hanji and Levi speaking outside the door, and I try not to listen in but it’s too tempting. I can hear them talking about me, which is not much of a surprise, but I can’t hear exactly what they’re saying. I’m sure it’s nothing serious. I occupy myself with examining the various odd curiosities littering the surface of Hanji’s desk. I don’t even know how she can write on this desk, there’s so much rubbish scattered across the top, there’s no room for a pen let alone paperwork. After a few minutes Hanji opens the door and enters the room, walking over behind her desk and throwing herself down in the chair.

“Sorry about that Eren, now where were we? Why don’t you tell me what’s wrong?” She asks in her usual cheery tone. She leaves no tells as to what her and Levi had been talking about. It’s probably nothing then.

“Well I don’t feel too bad actually, but I can tell I have a fever. And everyone keeps saying I’m bright red.”

“Well we’ll just have to take a few samples and try a few tests, here-” Hanji cuts herself off as she leans over the table and shoves a thermometer into my mouth.

Hanji’s tests don’t take very long, surprisingly. After what felt like just minutes of poking and prodding that I’m not even sure would yield any kind of useful result Hanji lets me go with a somewhat clean bill of health.

“From what I can see there’s nothing seriously wrong with you, it’s probably just a cold. In any case, you’ll have to wear this-” She hands me a cloth mask that I’ve only even worn for dusting. “You know, just in case you give it to anyone else,” she winks at me. I don’t quite understand that but I let it slide. Knowing Hanji, her imagination probably gets the best of her. I take the mask from her and wrap it around my nose and mouth anyway. “Just because it doesn’t affect you very much doesn’t mean it wouldn’t be a nasty illness for someone else.”

I thank her for the tests and stand up to leave.

“You can head off to breakfast if you want, then Levi wants you back,” she calls to me from behind. I nod to her and exit the room. It’s still pretty early in the morning, and I doubt any of my friends are at breakfast yet so I decide to head back to the cellar first; maybe Levi will be impressed if I’m able to do some cleaning before breakfast. I mean, I’m not so sick I can’t clean after all. I have to walk past the dining hall to get back and I can’t hear the distinctive morning chatter of the scouts behind the doors, so I continue on down the maze of corridors towards the cellar.

When I reach the cellar I’m surprised to find the captain missing, and I would assume he’d left for breakfast except the dining hall doors were closed. It’s only when I cross the main room of the cellar that I hear noises from the bathroom and the distinctive sound of running water hitting the tiles in the shower. And my name. I hear my name being called from the shower. I stop dead in my tracks and everything else is silent as I struggle to make out what’s happening behind that door.

I can hear my heart suddenly beating wildly in my chest and a wave of heat washes over me. The voice is not calling my name, the voice is Levi’s and he’s desperately breathing my name. I’m not sure how many seconds or minutes go by while I stand in shock in the centre of the cellar, but suddenly the bathroom door opens and I look around frantically for something to pretend to be doing. There is nothing, Levi spots me instantly, standing hopelessly in the middle of the room staring at him. I didn’t even hear the shower shut off. I’m shaking slightly.

He has put his clothes back on in the shower but his hair is still wet and dishevelled, reminiscent of the uncharacteristic mess that it was this morning, and small water droplets are slowly falling down over his forehead. He’s without his jacket, the white fabric of his shirt sticking to his skin slightly with the leftover moisture of the bathroom, outlining his defined abs. His face holds the usual stoic expression it always has and his eyes reveal nothing.

“What is it brat?” he asks in his typical monotonous tone.

“Nothing sir,” I snap, my voice wavering. I can feel my ears have turned a furious shade of red; my mother always told me I had a tell when I lie. Hopefully my hair hides the worst of it and Levi doesn’t notice.

“What are you doing back?” I feel like I’m being scolded and I haven’t even done anything.

“I thought it would be too early for breakfast so I came back here to do some cleaning before I left.” I see his eyes widen a little and his expression soften; maybe I did manage to impress him with that after all. It’s good to gain extra favour with the captain, especially in terms of cleaning.

“Well then, you know where the supplies are,” he replies, crossing the room to his desk and throwing himself down into the chair. I’m somewhat taken aback by this whole conversation, completely ignoring the situation we both know we were in. Surely Levi knows that I heard him, but it would be more awkward if he brought it up. Even so, the silence cuts like a knife and I have to shake my head to try to focus on what I’ve been told. I pull away from looking at Levi and start to head towards the supply room. “And make sure you do a proper job this time,” he calls from behind me.

“Yes, sir,” I reply more steadily. I cross the room towards the supplies and I can still feel my face and ears burning hot. It’ll take me a few minutes to get out all the supplies in the cool of the room, hopefully enough time for my face to cool down, not to mention other parts of my body that are unusually hot right now.

 

_Levi_

I thought I was alone but suddenly a girl with bright red pigtails is standing a little way in front of me, facing away. I try to call out to her but she doesn’t respond. I start walking towards her but to no avail, so I run. But no matter how fast I run I don’t get any closer. I desperately run faster, panting now. I cry out again but no sound comes out. I can feel my heart beating furiously in my chest and I’m feverishly hot, sweating.

Suddenly I’m next to her and I start as she swings herself around to look at me. Isabel. I open my mouth to speak but I can’t get the words out fast enough. She lifts her hands up to my shoulders and shoves me backwards hard and I lose my balance. Suddenly I’m falling and I land with a smack on the hard, cold stone tiles of the cellar floor.

“What the FUCK Jeager?” are the first words out of my mouth. I open my eyes and I’m lying on the floor looking up at the ceiling.

“Sir! I’m so sorry!” he squeals from beneath the bedsheets. Stupid kid. I shake the memory of my dream and lift myself off the floor, rising to stare him down. I am intensely aware of my morning erection straining against my underwear, but I am more concerned with the bruises I can feel forming on my shoulder and elbow. I rub my elbow furiously trying to rid myself of the pain. Wait, is he laughing? Thanks Jeager, shove me out of bed, then laugh at me.

“This isn’t funny brat. I’m going to get a fucking bruise.” He stops immediately and looks surprised. His eyes are wide like a hunted deer that knows it’s number’s up. I can see his eyes trying their best to avoid looking at my underwear. Tsk, stupid brat.

“What. Like you haven’t seen a cock before,” I declare, proudly pulling my hands up and onto my hips. He wasn’t expecting that. He stammers out some random sounds and he’s pretty much lost for words. As if I thought his eyes couldn’t get any bigger, they’re almost like green saucers now. It gives me some kind of perverse thrill to see his expression turn like that and listen to him squirm for words. I love messing with this kid, literally anything will get him flustered and it’s beautiful to watch him struggle to get his words out as his faces becomes more and more messy.

He’s still frantically trying to avoid looking at my erection. If I’m honest, it’s quite the turn on; I can tell he’s intrigued, or at least impressed. I wonder how far I can push it. I reach down and grip his chin, pulling it up firmly so his face is in line with mine. I stare straight into his eyes and with as quiet and sensual a tone as I can manage I breathe, “Or maybe you haven’t seen a cock before.”

His reaction is priceless. I’m not sure I can do much more to fluster him. I’m barely keeping a straight face, I know what control I have over him and it’s fucking intoxicating, somewhat thrilling. I literally have him in the palm of my hand. His face is beautiful, he’s struggling for words, his lips quivering. I can’t help but look at them. What do they taste like? I realise he’s hot, his cheeks are flushed red, and he’s sweating. I suddenly remember that he had a fever yesterday, but his face is abnormally hot now, almost burning my fingers. I can’t have pushed it too far, surely. I guess this little experiment isn’t going any further.

“Tsk,” I exhale, before letting go of his chin and pulling my eyes away from his. I cross the room to the dresser and pull out some fresh clothes for today. “Well I guess I’m awake now,” I remark before pulling a fresh shirt down over my head. I don’t even look back at Eren, but I hear him sit up in the bed, no doubt in shock about what just happened. The thought gives me a small thrill but the prospect of Eren being sick is too overbearing to enjoy it any more.

“You’re still boiling hot by the way. I’ll be lucky if I don’t get burns as well as fucking bruises,” I remark, rubbing up and down the length of my arms. “I’m still taking you to see Hanji as soon as you’re up.” I wonder what’s actually wrong with that kid? I mean, he doesn’t exactly look that ill; he’s not coughing or sneezing or anything, and if he were then he wouldn’t be sharing a bed with me, that’s for sure. I hope he doesn’t think that he gets to lay around in bed all day with me bringing him food and drink like a servant.

“And just because you got hurt yesterday doesn’t mean you can skip out on cleaning,” I inform him before leaving the room for my desk.

***

As soon as he finishes dressing we leave for Hanji’s office. It’s quite early in the morning so she should still be in her office rather than at breakfast, so we should be able to catch her before she leaves. Eren is silent for the entirety of the walk there, just looking at the floor passing in front of his feet.

We reach Hanji’s room and her and Eren exchange the usual pleasantries; “Oh if it isn’t my favourite couple of humanity’s saviours!” I’m only half listening, thinking of how much time I’m going to have to put in looking after Eren if he really is ill. I won’t be bringing him tea and breakfast in bed if that’s what he thinks. And there’s no way he won’t be cleaning. I walk across the room and throw myself down on the bench across the room.

“The brat has a fever,” I inform Hanji across the room. I’m not going to mention why exactly, and I’m sure Eren won’t mention it to her either.

“Is that so? Well I’ll need you to do a few tests for me,” she says leaning down to Eren. “If you don’t mind me borrowing him for a little while, of course.” She turns to me and tilts her head to the side. I shrug. It will be nice to have a bit of peace and quiet for a few hours.

“Doesn’t matter to me. Just have him back in time to clean the cellar once over today.”

“Deal! Alright Eren, I’m going to need you to sit down over there for a second.” She points to the wooden chair across from her desk. “Levi, can I speak with you outside,” she asks firmly. I pull my eyes up to hers and I can see it’s something serious. I sigh and reluctantly lift off the bench to follow Hanji out the room. “Back in a minute, sweetie!” she calls over her shoulder to Eren and closes the door behind us.

The second we’re out of the room she grabs my right arm hard, unknowingly pushing into the forming bruises, and wheeling me around the corner. 

“What did you do to that kid after I left him with you?” she demands. Not loud enough for Eren to hear, but loud enough for me to scowl at her anyway.

“Nothing. I changed his bandages and then sent him to bed.” That’s not a lie.

“He was hot yesterday but he’s absolutely boiling hot now. I’m surprised he’s not steaming.” I think back to this morning. Perhaps it wasn’t the best idea to rile him up like that when he was already sick. If he is ill, then I’m sure this morning didn’t help. I’m not going to be happy if I’ve prolonged Eren being out of action.

“Are you still sleeping with him?” What the hell? That took me by surprise. I resist the urge to shout something at her. Thankfully my special talent is pretending like I don’t give a fuck.

“Depends what you mean by that,” I joke, smirking.

“You haven’t, have you? He’s just a kid…” She sounds more excited rather than concerned. No doubt she would want to hear every little detail if I were sleeping with him. I decide to nip it in the bud now instead.

“Shut up shitty glasses, of course not.”

“I’ve seen the way you look at him, especially yesterday when he got hurt. I know you care about him more than you let on, at least. Personally, I’m saying there’s anything wrong with it, but you won’t find anyone else who feels the same. Especially the higher ups.”

“I’m not fucking him.” I snap. I don’t look at Eren, what is she talking about? I care that he stays alive, and nothing more.

“I don’t care. He’s a valuable asset and we need him at his best. Whatever you do with him. Don’t fuck him up.” This is starting to get irritating, there’s nothing going on.

“Whatever. I’m not listening to this anymore.” She’s not even hearing me, why can’t she just drop it.

“Okay fine, I know you’ve had a lot of paperwork and it’s stressing you out. Maybe you need to find a release that isn’t related to Eren.” A smile tugs at the corner of her mouth. I know exactly what she’s getting at, and I am not going down that road with her. I don’t care how close she thinks we are, there are certain things that you just don’t speak about with one another. There’s no just having a pleasant chat with this woman, she always takes things too far and I refuse to listen to her any more.

“I’m leaving. Tell the brat to go to breakfast after those tests and he can come back to the cellar afterwards.” I turn to leave and she grabs my arm again. “What is it?” I turn and snap at her.

“Be nice to that kid, Levi.”

I don’t reply, instead turning away from her and making my way down the corridor. I hear her sigh from behind me before eventually she re-enters her room and apologises to Eren, closing the door behind her. I make my way along the dark corridor of the castle; Hanji’s office is in the east side and the dining hall on the west side, along with the cellar entrance.

I debate skipping breakfast and going straight back to my office but I’ve been missing from the hall too many times now and people are starting to notice, meaning that Eren is starting to notice. Despite what he might think, there’s no good reason why I keep missing meals. Food isn’t all that important to me, it sustains me and gives me energy but that’s pretty much all there is to it. I don’t enjoy eating with people, especially with all the other scouts in the hall. All their mouths chewing loudly, chattering, mess everywhere. And god knows how that food’s been prepared.

On second thought, maybe I should take a shower first. It was fairly hot in that bed last night and I feel like I need one after this morning anyway. Eventually I pass the dining hall but the large wooden doors are still closed and I can’t hear anyone inside, which makes up my mind and I head for the cellar instead. There are communal showers located in the castle but I already know how dirty they are because all the new recruits use them. There’s a small bathroom in the cellar that’s supposed to be reserved for Eren but as my office is now in the cellar too, I’ve claimed it as mine as well.

I’m normally used to taking combat showers, but since I have nowhere to be I might as well take my time. After I reach the cool cellar I immediately make a beeline for the shower. I can tell it’s going to be a hot day already and it’s barely 8am. I enter the shower room and strip off, taking care to fold my clothes properly and lay them to the side on the chair before stepping into the shower. I turn the handle firmly and a jet of icy cold water hits my chest.

I’m used to the water being continuously cold for the duration of my showers but the morning sun must have already heated the water tank outside and the liquid slowly becomes warmer, almost hot. I’m not used to this feeling, a warm shower. I grab the soap and work up a soft lather between my hands. I love the smell of this soap, not many of the scouts know but I often tend to make the bars myself; the ingredients aren’t too hard to come by out here in the countryside so it’s the perfect setting. I rub the soap over my bare skin and enjoy the scent of the extra olive oil I’d added to this bar.

For some unknown reason Hanji’s ‘advice’ now comes back to haunt me. I definitely have had a lot of paperwork to fill out recently, mainly thanks to that brat’s stupid recent injuries. But I wouldn’t say that it’s enough to make me stressed. “You need to find a release that isn’t related to Eren.” Maybe she was right about that part. I have been sharing the bed with Eren a lot recently, for no particular reason than a faint need to be close to someone for once. God what a thought, what am I doing? There’s nothing I need to release.

I can’t get her words out of my head; “find a release.” When was the last time I touched myself like that? Weeks surely, certainly not when I’d been sharing Eren’s bed, and that had become a frequent occurrence. I usually do it when I have nothing better to do, or when I have trouble sleeping, which was typically every night until I started keeping Eren company in the cellar. My mind has started to wander to Eren now and I know this is dangerous territory.

And right on cue I’m already half hard. Fucking hell, that stupid kid. He doesn’t even know he does this to me, and it isn’t fair. Whatever Hanji says about me caring about him is a lie. Sure, I wouldn’t mind fucking him, or having him fuck me for that matter, but that’s all. Fine, if Hanji thinks this is going to relieve stress then so be it.

I wrap my hand around the base of my erection and work my hand slowly up to the tip, getting used to the sensation. I’d forgotten how good this feels, and I lean back against the cold tile wall to get a better angle. The cold of the tiles on my back and the heat of the shower creates a new sensation that I hadn’t experienced before, and my cock stiffens at the feeling.

I continue to pump my hand along the length of my erection in long slow strokes and manage to work out a steady rhythm but I can’t help feeling like something’s missing. While my right hand works my cock my left drags across my wet skin and slowly reaches back to my ass where I lightly stroke the entrance with the tip of my finger. How long has it been since I did this too? The strokes become firmer and I feel the tip of my finger slowly enter my ass. Initially my body tightens around the invasion, causing my breaths to become deeper and longer, I’m practically panting already.

After my body relaxes around my finger, I am able to slide it inside as far as possible and it’s joined by a second finger. My eyes are closed as I throw my head back and start to revel in the sensation. Soon my hands find a steady rhythm together, my right stroking along the length of my member and the left firmly pressing in and out of me as deep as possible, trying in vain to reach the spot inside I know will make my vision white and my body shiver. My body is hot with sweat and the steam created by shower, the room is misty and it’s now somewhat hard to breathe properly.

I can’t say exactly what I’m thinking about but it’s nothing really in particular. It’s not like I’ve had any action recently; the only thing that has gotten my blood racing is teasing that stupid kid. At this thought my body stiffens and my cock twitches unexpectedly, causing my breath to catch in my throat. I can’t believe that I’m getting off to the thought of teasing Eren with my morning erection. The look on his face though – confusion and fear but there was also something else there; curiosity?

I smirk at the thought of how I could have teased him further and his reaction. His flushed cheeks, crimson ears, wide eyes, mouth agape. I bet he wonders what cock tastes like and I could have shown him. I could show him several things; he doesn’t know what I’m capable of yet. I think about those pink lips and what they would feel like wrapped around my cock, the warmth of his tongue against my skin, his hot breath, the heat spreading up and down my length. My breaths deepen, I gasp for breath as I imagine Eren doing the same, choking on my dick.

I work with an increasingly fast rhythm, bucking my hips into my hand as the pressure inside my stomach builds to an almost intolerable level. Suddenly my fingers gently brush the concentrated bundle of nerves inside me that I’ve been craving and I inhale sharply, my hand now working mercilessly on the head of my cock.

A whine stirs in my throat as I think of Eren’s reaction as I grab the back of his head, his hair balled in my fist, and I come down his throat, the intense hot of his mouth taking every last drop of me. Suddenly I see white sparks across my vision, my mouth forming words I didn’t recognise as my own.

I hear myself breathing Eren’s name as my eyes roll back and I feet sticky warmth covering my hand as I continue to pump desperately at the head of my cock, my fingers plunging deeply into my ass. My mind is reeling as I imagine Eren’s mouth swallowing all I have to give, my hips bucking forward. I ride out my orgasm thinking about that stupid brat swallowing my come. And I love every fucking second.

After a moment my vision returns to me, and my breathing returns to a steady rhythm. I try to get the thought of Eren out of my mind and I instantly wash the thick sticky coating off my hand. Disgusting. I quickly finish the rest of my shower and switch off the flow of warm water, stepping out and drying myself as much as possible with a towel. I pull my clothes on and realise how hot it now is in the bathroom; the steam from the shower has condensed on the walls and it’s too humid in here to stick around. I’ve got to get out of here quickly. I open the door of the bathroom and the mist escapes, slowly clearing in front of me to reveal Eren standing in the centre of the main cellar room with wide eyes. Shit, did he hear me in the shower?

“What is it brat?” I ask in the most monotonous tone I can manage.

“Nothing sir.” His ears have turned a furious shade of red; he’s lying. My clothes are sticking to my body with the remaining heat from the shower, which doesn’t help me to relax in this situation.

“What are you doing back?”

“I thought it would be too early for breakfast so I came back here to do some cleaning before I left.” Okay that has impressed me. His expression is sincere and I can feel my face soften in response. Who cares if he heard me in the bathroom, he’s not going to bring it up anyway so we might as well just leave it at that.

“Well then, you know where the supplies are,” I reply nonchalantly before crossing the room to my desk and throwing myself into the chair. Eren continues to stare at me for a moment before pulling his eyes away, and heading towards the supply room. “And make sure you do a proper job this time.”

“Yes, sir,” he replies. I can see that his ears are still bright red as he walks away from me, and I feel a wry smile tug at the side of my mouth. I turn to my desk and hate to say it but Hanji was right about something; my impossibly high stack of paperwork doesn’t seem quite so daunting now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry if this isn't what you were expecting when you started this fic, but I was getting impatient and I decided not to put in loads of filler material if I didn't want to write it. So there are two somewhat steamy scenes here, perhaps the story feels a bit rushed but I couldn't wait. More to come though, so if you want more smut keep reading!


	4. Nightmare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren starts to get frustrated with Levi constantly touching him, and makes a promise to let him know how he feels. Later, Eren finally gets his chance to look in the closet...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am writing this a few days before SNK84 comes out in English, but there are Chinese raws, and therefore spoilers, everywhere. I'm trying to avoid tumblr until after I read the chapter but it's too tempting to look... Anyway I hope you enjoy the chapter before the SNK update inevitably destroys all joy in your life.

I start to feel increasingly worse while cleaning this morning. It’s not necessarily my temperature increasing, but rather my arms and legs are becoming more useless the more I work. My bones are beginning to ache dully and feel heavier than usual, a sensation that I remember clearly from catching colds as a child and my mother would force me to stay in bed all day rather than going outside with Mikasa and Armin.

I have resigned myself to cleaning at the opposite end of the room to the captain’s desk, not for any particular reason other than he is starting to scare me a little; all of the hand holding, extended periods of eye contact, grabbing my chin… Hearing him say my name in the shower this morning was the last straw. He didn’t seem surprised to see me when he left the bathroom, so I know he was doing it on purpose. He knew I could hear him.

I’m certain he’s doing all of this to unsettle me as much as possible; I’ve seen the look on his face when he does those things to me. I know he enjoys it. I would have less of an issue if we didn’t both know how much his actions affect me. Since the other morning when I first woke up in his arms, whenever he touches my bare skin it feels strange, it prickles underneath his. This is ridiculous, how is it possible that I’m even thinking like this, Levi shouldn’t be able to have this sort of control over me.

The memory of the unfamiliar feeling of his skin on mine floods my mind and I shut my eyes tight to rid myself of the thought. Instead, I try to focus on the relentless cleaning, trying to push the brush back and forth across the floor as hard as I can but it’s becoming more and more difficult to push with each stroke. I feel my head bowing as I use my shoulders as the driving force instead but my muscles are too tired already. An involuntary sigh escapes my lips as I roll back onto my heels and cover my eyes with my hands. I really am trying; I hope Levi appreciates this, I know I should really be in bed.

Suddenly I hear Levi’s footsteps approaching me from behind, and I duck my head down between my shoulders, fully expecting him to smack me around the head and scold me for not working fast enough, but after a moment nothing happens. I can feel him standing right over me, and I slowly pull my head up until my eyes meet his. At first, his face is held in that usual neutral scowl, but it soon softens slightly; he almost seems surprised at my somewhat pained expression, but what does he expect? It’s clear I’m not currently fit to work effectively; I should have never offered to clean before breakfast in the first place.

He holds my gaze for a moment and then gradually bends down on one knee next to me. He looks down at my hand and reaches out, placing his hand gently on top of mine. His slender fingers wrap around my own and he holds my hand firmly in place on top of the brush. My mind returns to the other morning, the first time we had woken holding each other and the memory makes my skin tingle beneath his. He is so close to me, and I can smell that familiar smell I have come to adore and hate at the same time.

“Do it harder like this,” he whispers in my ear, pushing the brush and my hand around in small circular motions. He’s got that stern expression as usual but again a smirk hides behind his eyes. Levi’s hand lingers on mine for a moment, his face just inches from me, his eyes staring into mine but I’m trying to avoid his gaze as much as possible. I can feel my breath deepen beneath the face mask I’m wearing making my face hotter and I’m starting to get uncomfortable with the way my body reacts to him. He does this sort of thing to get a rise out of me, I know it, just like this morning, and I’m starting to get tired of it. It’s not fair to play around with me like that, and he knows exactly what kind of reaction he’s eliciting from inside me.

I feel my skin getting impossibly hotter under his, and I’m already sickly hot as it is. Enough is enough; I yank my hand out from under his, my body shaking and my face contorted into a scowl. He pulls back too, steam slowly rising from his palm. I had forgotten how hot I was, and evidently so had Levi, but you would never tell from his neutral expression. He never gives anything away, and I hate that; you can never tell what he’s really thinking.

We kneel for a moment, just watching each other, waiting for the other to speak. Suddenly the cellar door crashes open behind us and I whip my head around to see Hanji standing in the doorway beaming as usual, and Hanji sees us crouching on the floor together, just inches from each other’s faces. I feel my cheeks instantly flush redder.

“Didn’t anyone ever teach you to knock, shitty glasses?” he grumbles at her, straightening up immediately and nonchalantly rubbing his hands together.

“I didn’t think I’d ever need to, if I’m honest,” she says winking at me with a smile, and enters the room like it was her own office. “I actually came to check your temperature, Eren. Maybe we’ll give it a few minutes though, eh?” She glances over at me with raised eyebrows and I stand up hastily, trying in vain to get my face to return to its usual colour and temperature. Hanji crosses the room and throws herself down in Levi’s seat behind his desk. I can see Levi eyeing her suspiciously from the corner of his eye.

“Well, you won’t be needing me then,” Levi eventually remarks before turning on his heels and heading for the exit. I assume he’s going for breakfast, although I’ve rarely seen him eat a morning meal either; he just drinks his usual cup of black tea. Hanji watches as he slowly leaves the room but the second he is out of sight and down the corridor she slams her hands down and leans over the desk towards me with wide eyes, showering me with a multitude of questions.

“What happened Eren? You can tell me. What were you two doing just now? Tell me why you’re so red in the face. Levi hasn’t been pushing you too far has he?” She doesn’t say anything too specific but I’m sure I know what she’s getting at, and I just stammer out some half words in response before I’m cut off by the sound of Levi shouting down the corridor.

“I can still hear you, you know.”

“Don’t you have tea to drink, short stack?” Hanji yells back defiantly, leaning back in Levi’s seat and putting her hands behind her head. Levi is silent, probably contemplating coming back and beating Hanji to a pulp for that last comment, but after a moment I hear him sigh gently and open the door to the outside world. Hanji turns to me and her smile softens slightly. “Seriously, Eren, are you okay?”

“Err, yes. I think so,” I reply, walking over towards the stool next to Levi’s desk and slowly pulling the cloth off my face. Honestly, I don’t know how I feel. And I know she’s not just talking about me being sick either. “I don’t feel any worse if that’s what you mean.”

“That’s not what I meant exactly.” She doesn’t say anything further but I know exactly what she means. I wait for her to go on but she stays silent, waiting for me to continue instead.

“Well, er-“

“You can tell me, you know.” She slowly leans over the desk towards me and her beaming smile is gone, replaced by a look of genuine motherly concern. Squad Leader Hanji has always been the type of person you can be brutally honest with, no matter the topic. It makes me feel better for what I’m about to say.

“It’s just… Captain Levi has been acting weird lately. He keeps…” I cut myself short, I don’t know how much I’m willing to tell her. It’s embarrassing to have to explain what he’s doing. Is he even doing anything wrong? Maybe I’m exaggerating the whole thing and there’s nothing really going on. What if I’m making it up? What if this is how Levi treats everyone and I’m just making a big deal about it.

“Go on,” she prompts. I can’t even look her in the eye as I say it, and I hang my head. Somehow the feeling that I’m being a snitch sticks in the back of my mind.

“The Captain keeps… touching me. Not in that way-” I snap as I see her eyes widen, “just holding my hand like just now and…” I trail off again; listening to what I’m saying makes me realise how silly all of this is.

“It’s okay, Eren,” she says, standing up and walking around the desk towards me. I shut my eyes but I can feel her putting her arm around my shoulders. Her voice is completely calm and understanding. “He hasn’t done anything else?”

“No, but I’m afraid he’s going to,” I reply shakily. As I look up into her face I can feel tears pricking my eyes. I feel so stupid. “It’s not that I don’t want him to… or that I do want him to really… It’s just that it makes me feel weird and I know he does it on purpose. I think he finds it funny or something.” I stop as I feel tears escaping out of my eyes and falling down my cheeks. It’s not that I’m worried about what Levi will do next, I just feel upset that he loves to tease me like that and embarrassed for bringing it up at all.

“It’s alright Eren. I think the thing with Captain Levi is that he’s never exactly been very good at reading emotions. I agree, I think he probably knows what reaction he’s getting out of you but he doesn’t understand how it would affect you beyond that initial emotion. Do you understand?” I nod reluctantly. Levi knows that he flusters me but he doesn’t understand why stuff like that would make me upset. “Do you want me to talk to him about-”

“No!” I cut her off. “I’m sorry, but please don’t, I don’t want him to know.”

“Okay, okay,” she says half-chuckling. “Let’s drop it then, shall we?” She pulls her hand down off my shoulder and wipes the tears off my cheeks. I sniff hard and pull my head up, trying to shake the emotions out of my brain. Damn, I feel like a little kid again.

“I’m sorry.” I manage to say between breaths.

“That’s alright sweetie, it just sounds like you need to talk to someone. It doesn’t hurt to tell your friends about your problems from time to time, you know,” she says, returning to Levi’s seat. I imagine the look on Armin’s face when I tell him I’m worried about how my feelings towards Levi are developing and I dismiss the idea immediately. Armin just wouldn’t understand, and Mikasa would just get mad at Levi and cause further problems.

“Shall we get on with the check-up then?”

Over the next few minutes Hanji repeats the tests I took earlier today. According to her, it has been a whole three hours since I visited her earlier today, and I need to have my temperature taken every few hours to make sure I don’t get any worse. After she finally removes the thermometer from my mouth she smiles and writes some notes down, informing me that nothing has changed significantly so far. She begins shoving the papers she had been writing on haphazardly into her satchel and cleaning away her things before standing up to leave.

“Eren, you haven’t had breakfast yet?” she suddenly asks looking up at me. I shake my head at her. I have no concept of time now; we could have been cleaning for minutes or hours for all I knew. I don’t even know what time I got up this morning. “God damn it, Levi,” she curses under her breath and sighs. “You’d better hurry up; they’ve almost finished up in there.” She gestures towards the door. “Don't worry, I can find my own way out.”

“Thank you Squad Leader. Then please excuse me.” I turn to leave and I feel a hand slap down on my shoulder, wheeling me around.

“Don’t forget this, sweetie.” She holds up the cloth that had been covering my mouth and I take it from her, pulling it over my mouth and nose once more. I thank her and head out down the long corridor towards the exit. On my way to the dining hall I try to ignore the heavy feeling in my chest that Hanji might speak to Levi about what I told her. I replay our conversation over again in my head; Levi sees my reaction, but he doesn’t know why I would be upset about his actions.

The trouble is, I can’t see any way around this; how can I make Levi understand that his behaviour upsets me unless I communicate it verbally. I make a promise to myself that the next time he touches me or makes me feel uncomfortable I will say something to him directly. If he doesn’t understand why I would be upset my him by my expression, then I’ll tell him how I feel myself.

After ruminating on those thoughts for a while I realise I can already smell food, namely freshly baked bread. As I get closer to the large wooden doors of the dining hall the smell gets stronger and I burst through the doorway, practically running towards the food. I hadn’t realised how hungry I was until I smelled that food. Luckily there are a few small bread rolls left over which I shovel onto my plate before making my way over to our regular table. My friends are half way through their breakfast but at least they aren’t finished yet. As I sit down in my usual seat I am met with several confused faces.

“Eren, you’re alright!” Armin exclaims as I sit down next to him at the table.

“What? Oh, yeah.” I had almost forgotten about yesterday altogether. My head had completely healed by this morning and the pain had been replaced with the dull ache of my bones, a consequence of my being sick, so I just forgot about the whole ordeal.

“I tried to come and find you after you fell but we got brought in immediately and I couldn’t,” Mikasa whispers from across the table, staring down at her half-finished bowl of food.

“I just got back and I went straight to bed. It was nothing bad,” I reply, reaching up to touch the back of my head. The pain has completely disappeared now and there is no touchable mark left from the injury. “I broke my arm but it’s fine now,” I say, wiggling my arm across the table in front of everyone.

“Listen Eren,” I hear Jean say gingerly. “No hard feelings, huh. I shouldn’t have said that stuff. I guess, I’m sorry alright.” It's short and sweet but I’m surprised; coming from Jean that’s as close to an apology as I’m going to get.

“Whatever,” I reply. I’m not really angry at Jean; it’s my fault that I fell off that cliff, I didn’t have to respond that way when I heard him talking about me. I’m actually kind of embarrassed that I acted like that, especially when I saw the look on the captain’s face afterwards. Of course I would never mention that little tidbit to Jean. “Just forget about it.”

An awkward silence consumes the table, the only sound the slurping of tea and the tearing of bread. I look over to the captains’ table and see Levi sitting with his usual cup of black tea, only half listening to Commander Erwin next to him. Erwin is trying to show Levi plans and notes on various sheets of paper, but Levi is not paying attention, just staring directly at my table. I try to avoid eye contact with him and start to turn away when I catch Erwin cough gently and Levi snaps his gaze back to him. Erwin is staring right at him and does not look impressed. I turn back to my food trying to hide a slight smirk when Connie pipes up.

“What are you wearing by the way?” referring to the cloth around my mouth.

“You’re sick, aren’t you.” Mikasa says, from behind her own cup of tea. “I told you that you were sick.”

“It’s nothing, it’s just a cold,” I retort. The last thing I want is for my friends to make a fuss over me after all that’s happened already this morning. “Squad Leader Hanji is doing tests on me every few hours so it’s nothing,” I say nonchalantly, tearing the bread roll I’m holding in half.

“Well don’t go giving it to us,” Jean adds.

“And how would I do that? It’s not like I’m going to be kissing any of you, is it?” I snap back. As soon as those words are out of my mouth I immediately regret it. Mikasa chokes slightly on her tea.

“Why, were you planning on it?” Reiner snorts from the other end of the table.

“We didn’t say anything about _that!_ ” Jean exclaims.

“Eren, what gave you _that_ idea,” Connie says breathily, holding his hand under his chin and fluttering his eyes at me.

“Oh come on, I didn’t mean it like that,” I sigh, pulling off my cloth mask and shoving warm bread into my mouth, trying my best to ignore the laughter. Soon the whole table is in an uproar, and I can barely chew my food I’m smiling too much.

After the laughter dies down, conversation turns to the upcoming training exercise; a second horse training exercise to replace the failed one yesterday. I would feel bad about ruining the training if it weren’t such a stupid exercise in the first place. The second exercise will loosely follow the same plan as the first, but in a different location.

Breakfast soon comes to an end and as we stand up to leave, I notice that Levi and Commander Erwin are both already gone. I’m not sure what my schedule is for the rest of the day, but with any luck, and if Levi is feeling kind, I’ll be assigned to clean something other than the cellar for once. I say goodbye to my friends and make my way back to the cellar, savouring the precious moments where I know Levi won’t be staring at me for once.

When I reach the main room of the cellar I can’t see Levi immediately; maybe he went back to Erwin’s office to go over those plans properly and without distraction. I guess with Levi missing I should go back to cleaning in here until he comes back to tell me what else to do, if anything. With that in mind, I cross the stone floor towards the storage room but as soon as my eyes adjust to the dark my heart jumps and I stop in my tracks.

The storage room door is open, and so is the captain’s special closet. From this angle I can’t see inside, but without Levi here I could just walk over and look, if I wanted. I’ve never seen it left open like that, Levi is always so meticulous in locking it that I'm not even sure how to react. After a few moments of standing perfectly still in the middle of the room, curiosity gets the better of me and I make the decision to look inside. It’ll only take a second, and it’ll probably turn out to just be cleaning supplies like I suspected, but the feeling that there is something more interesting inside is too tempting. I take a small tentative step forwards towards the closet when I hear a flat voice echo around the room, startling me.

“Hold it kid.” I wheel around to see Levi is sitting on the small stool in my room looking down at his hands. He’s holding one of my dirty black boots in his left hand, brushing the dirt off with a small wooden brush in his right.

“Captain!” He doesn’t look up at me, instead concentrating the brush strokes on a particularly stubborn area of dirt. “Um, what are you doing?”

“What does it look like, brat?” It looks like he’s cleaning my soiled boots from the training exercise yesterday. I’m not sure why, he never cleans my personal affects for me. He could have just ordered me to do it.

“Why are you cleaning my boots, sir?”

“They were filthy.”

“Yes, sir. I could have cleaned them myself.”

“Tsk, can’t I do you a favour without it being a big deal?” I’m not sure how to reply to that. I’m not used to Levi doing me favours, or him cleaning anything for me, at least without asking me to do it first. I pull my gaze from Levi and focus again on the open closet in the storage room. I’m still thinking of looking inside, but I would never be able to reach the closet before Levi could grab me and stop me. As I contemplate the stupidity of making a run for it, Levi speaks again without looking up.

“Don’t do it, Eren. You wouldn’t like what’s in there.” What on earth could be in that closet that I wouldn’t like. Maybe it’s dead bodies or something. Or maybe it _is_ just cleaning supplies. I’m not sure if the captain said that to try and make me stay away from it but it really just makes me more curious about the contents.

“Sir, what is in that closet?” Levi puts down my boot next to the stool with a sigh and lifts himself off. He drags his eyes up to meet mine and walks across the room towards the closet. Once in the store room and standing in front of the closet, he places the brush and tin of boot polish inside and grabs the closet doors, pausing for a moment, just looking in.

His expression usually never gives any clues as to what he's feeling, but I’m starting to get better at noticing pain. His face becomes unusually contorted, his brows are slightly furrowed and his mouth hangs open, just like yesterday when I arrived back from my fall during the training exercise. To anyone else, he could just be having a close look at something, but there are slight differences in his face that only someone who had spent a wealth of time with him would know. I’m not sure how long I stand here staring at him but suddenly his words bring me back to reality.

“Eren. Do you hear me? You can’t ever look in there.” He has shut the closet doors and is leaning on them, his head hanging between his shoulders, arms outstretched. “You can’t look in there, do you understand?”

“Y- yes sir,” I stutter in response. Levi straightens up with a deep sigh and reaches down inside his shirt, pulling out a long string with a key tied to the end, something I’ve never seen before, eerily similar to my own key that I keep around my neck. He locks the closet and drops the key back down into his shirt. He turns to leave, averting my gaze by staring at the floor as he walks. He lowers himself down into his chair with a sigh before pulling out a stack of paperwork from the drawer under the desk.

I’m still standing in the middle of the room unsure of what to say. Why haven’t I seen that key before? I’ve seen Levi take his shirt off in front of me and it’s never been there. I know he keeps a large collection of keys in a drawer under his desk but if he usually keeps this key there, then why is he suddenly wearing it around his neck now? And what is that closet that’s so important he has to keep the key on him at all times.

“Now get back to work,” he snaps harshly, pulling my attention towards him; he doesn’t even lift his eyes up from his papers. I silently make my way to the storage room and collect the familiar supplies to start cleaning. That closet has become unbearable to look at, I am almost beginning to detest it; I can’t clean it because it’s too heavy, I don’t know what’s inside it, and whatever is inside causes Levi to make that face, which is the most unbearable feeling. 

***

The rest of the day passes uneventfully. My fears about Levi doing anything further towards me appear to be completely unfounded. It seems as if the incident with the closet threw him off me a little, but while he is more distant, it’s not a pleasant environment. A few hours into my silent work I realised that I might actually prefer Levi speaking to me, rather than this awkward silence. I have had too long now to ruminate on everything that has happened over the past few days, and I don’t even know what I feel any more.

In the afternoon I am allowed outside in the grounds of the castle again to pull up the weeds and sweep the pathway with my friends near their barracks. It’s such a relief to work in the company of Armin and Mikasa, who will actually speak to me, rather than sweeping in the silent dim cellar with Levi. Hanji comes to check my temperature every few hours as promised, and it seems like my cold isn’t getting any worse, although my temperature is still sky high.

Hanji’s multiple visits are a constant reminder of our conversation earlier today. Sure, to her it won’t hurt to tell my friends about my problems, but I can’t even imagine how that conversation would begin. The only friend I could trust with that information is Armin, but I doubt he would understand at all. I don’t even understand my own feelings, how would I be able to explain them to someone else?

I realise I'm quiet for the rest of the day, something my friends blame on my cold, but I'm just trying to figure out exactly what’s going on inside my head. The training exercise tomorrow, the closet, Levi constantly touching me, but today being unusually distant and cold towards me. This morning he was holding my chin, his face just inches from mine, and calling my name in the shower... And what was that about anyway? I wonder what happened between that time and when I came back from breakfast that has made him act so cold towards me. What exactly are my feelings towards him? I feel like I’m going crazy trying to make sense of everything.

Come evening I notice that Levi makes no effort to get ready for bed, he just stays sitting at his desk as I dress down and walk to the bathroom to take a shower. Levi doesn’t even look up from his work as I undress in my room, and while I am glad he’s not eyeing me up for once, it feels strange _not_ to have his eyes on me. I slowly crawl into bed, making sure to leave room for Levi on my right hand side for when he decides to join me, and pull my book out from under the pillow. I try to read but Levi working is much more captivating to watch, and I fall asleep watching Levi at his desk, painstakingly ordering sheet after sheet of paper into a neat pile.

***

When I next open my eyes I can't feel the usual warm arms pinning me down, or the soft heat of Levi’s breath on the back my neck. I lift my head up and turn around slowly but Levi isn’t there in the bed at all. Half sitting up, I look over to the captain’s desk, but most of the torches in the cellar have burned out and I can barely see anything, including Levi. A wave of panic washes over me as I consider that I’ve slept in, that it’s very late in the morning and everyone is already up, but it can’t be. There’s no sunlight streaming in through the windows, no birds singing. It’s the middle of the night.

I can’t hear Levi in the bathroom either, so I decide to go look for him. Maybe this is a stupid decision, to get up in the middle of the night and go wandering around, but he’s not supposed to leave me alone down here. I’m still supposed to still be shackled to the bed at night, so I can’t let anyone else see me. If someone came down and found me alone, Levi would be in big trouble, so I should find him before someone else does. At least that’s what I tell myself as I swing my legs around out of bed and pull on my clothes. I yank my boots over my feet but don’t bother lacing them, I doubt I’ll have to go outside anyway. I’ll probably find Levi taking stock of the cleaning supplies.

The torches are all put out, except for a single one lighting the main room of the cellar over Levi’s desk. I creep across the cellar and check the adjoining rooms, but there is no sign of the captain. I check Levi’s desk and notice that his there are still papers scattered around; he would never have left his desk like this if he had gone to bed. The papers closest to the edge of the desk are slightly crumpled, a tell-tale sign that Levi’s head had been resting there. Suddenly I notice a chill wind pushing its way around the cellar, most likely coming from down the corridor, which drives my next decision.

I walk along the dark corridor towards the frigid outdoor air. The cellar door is already open, meaning Levi _must_ be outside and I walk over the threshold into the dark courtyard. There are no torches lit, but the moon and stars are bright enough to illuminate the ground beneath me as I walk. The freeing air stings my nostrils; it’s cold but damp, and my clothes stick against my skin with every stride. There is no sound but the distant song of an owl hunting and the gentle biting breeze whistling around the castle.

It doesn’t take me long to reach the captain; he is sitting on a bench opposite the cellar door on the other side of the courtyard. I debate whether or not I should run back inside before he sees me, but something holds me there in the middle of the courtyard until Levi instinctively turns his head to greet me with a blank expression. I slowly walk over towards him, the sound of the gravel and dirt beneath my feet echoing across the courtyard, and he lifts his head again, avoiding my eyes, focusing on the night sky instead. His body is shaking.

“Captain, what are you doing out here?” I ask tentatively. It would probably have been better not to ask. Levi does a lot of things that wouldn’t be considered normal, and wandering outside in the middle of the freezing night is just one of several unusual things I’ve seen him do. He could have just come outside to admire the stars, which I guess is not that strange.

“I had a nightmare,” he replies gruffly.

I stare blankly at him for a moment. I wasn’t expecting that response and I’m not sure what to say. For the first time, I look down at the captain sitting on a bench below me with pity. I’ve lost my mother and comrades, but Levi has been in the scouting regiment for so long, there’s no telling the number of horrors he’s seen; it’s no wonder he has nightmares. Beneath his cold exterior there is feeling. Maybe that’s why I am becoming so good at noticing his pain; because that’s the emotion that’s strongest inside him, and it’s the one that creeps its way out to the exterior the easiest.

As he stares upwards I can see the stars reflected in his grey eyes. The bright moon is illuminating the high points of Levi’s face in brilliant white, namely his angular cheekbones and sharp jawline. His shivering is getting worse; I don’t know how long he’s been sitting out here but it’s freezing cold and my skin is prickling in the icy breeze. I pull my jacket off and wrap it around Levi’s shoulders. He doesn’t protest or look away from the sky, and my gaze follows his upwards. I don’t think I’ve ever seen the sky look so beautiful. Out here in the countryside the air is cleaner, and the stars are brighter. The sky is a deep blue, cloudless, and spotted with twinkling white stars. The moon is waxing, almost full, and pure white, hanging high in the sky. This whole moment would be beautiful if we weren’t freezing.

“You should come inside, sir. It’s too cold out here.”

Without a word, Levi slowly pushes himself off the bench and straightens up, turning towards the entrance of the cellar. As he walks I follow behind, almost jogging to keep up with Levi as he heads quickly out of the night and into the slight warmth of the cellar.

As we enter the main room, Levi doesn’t head back to his desk as I expected, nor does he bother cleaning away his papers. Instead he makes a beeline for my bedroom and suddenly begins removing his clothes. He takes off my jacket and places it in the closet. I stand in the doorway watching him get into my bed and shift over to the right hand side like always, as if nothing unusual has happened tonight. Perhaps I should just ignore the whole thing. I pull off my boots and trousers, placing them in the wardrobe, and head back over to the bed.

I slide in next to Levi and turn to face away from him as usual, but this time Levi doesn’t wait for me to be asleep before he turns over to face me and slides his arms down the length of mine. My body instantly freezes up and my breath catches in my throat. He’s never done this before when we are actually awake; waking up in this position is another story, but doing this voluntarily is somehow different.

Levi slowly shifts his body towards mine and squeezes me tight, his chest pressing firmly against my back. I can feel the rise and fall of his chest with every breath he takes, which makes my heart beat faster and I try to regulate my breathing so Levi doesn’t notice. The promise I made to myself earlier today floods my memory; that I would give him a piece of my mind if he touched me again, but somehow this doesn’t feel like Levi trying to get a reaction out of me. This feels like Levi genuinely trying to reach out to me for comfort and support. My skin isn’t prickling under his, instead it welcomes his warm touch, and my body relaxes into his embrace. Now that I think about it, waking up in his arms is a wholly different feeling to when he grabs me like he did this morning, it's more special. Damn it Levi, why do you have to do this?

I take a deep breath and lift my body up, turning to face the ceiling and moving my right arm underneath Levi’s neck. He instinctively moves his head closer to me, pulling it up and resting it on my shoulder, his right arm draped over my chest, his hand grabbing desperately at my shirt like a little kid. I feel his deep breaths warm on my neck once more and a smile can’t help but tug at the corners of my mouth. After being outside in the freezing cold, the warmth of Levi’s body against mine is a welcome feeling.

This is by far the closest I’ve been to the captain, and not just physically. It feels strange being someone else’s security, even if just for one night. This is a completely different type of vulnerability, one that I’ve never seen the captain show to anyone else but me. He trusts me enough to fall asleep at his desk in front of me, and now trusts me enough to fall asleep on me, desperately grasping a fist full of my shirt. This scene is drolly reminiscent of a mother comforting her son, not dissimilar to how I used to clutch onto my own mother in bed after a bad dream.

As I relax into the soft bed I notice his hand begin to loosen its grip on me as he falls asleep and I lean my face down and rest it gently on the top of his head. I drift off listening to Levi's breaths deepen, watching his chest rise and fall slowly next to mine, and savour the feeling of the captain’s soft hair beneath my cheek.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hated this chapter as I was editing it, so I'm sorry if it's not up to standard. It got a bit fluffy towards the end which I kinda like, so I hope you enjoyed it too. I just want to get it out there and move on, more fluff and smut to come!


	5. Lullaby

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi seems to have forgotten everything about last night, and is back to treating Eren like his personal cleaning slave as usual. The second training exercise gets underway and Armin and Eren have some interesting news for each other. Eren discovers a new hidden talent.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is a short Levi POV in here, mainly because the story needs to develop using Hanji, because she's always amazing at getting things going. Anyway, enjoy!

_Eren_

 

When the sun rises and I finally open my eyes I wish I could spend the whole day lying like this with Levi. His head is still tucked snugly underneath my chin, the loose strands of hair tickling my neck. The birds are singing cheerfully outside, there is a cool breeze blowing in through the cracks in the window. Everything feels perfect, just for this moment. I wish we could lie here forever, perfectly positioned inside each other’s arms, his head rising and falling with each breath I take. But unfortunately life doesn’t work out like that. Soon I’m wide awake, but I don’t want to disturb Levi by moving. Peaceful sleep is such a rarity for him that I don’t want to ruin it by getting up, but I don’t want it to get too late in the day.

I’m surprised that my arm survived the night still attached to my shoulder because it’s starting to feel numb under Levi’s weight. I try to wiggle my fingers but I’ve lost all feeling in them and I work up a sweat thinking of the best way to pull it from under him before I cut off the blood supply to my arm and it just falls off. Maybe that’s a bit of an exaggeration.

My cold must have passed already because at the temperature I was at yesterday there is no way that Levi would have be able to cling onto me for so long without being burned. His hand had loosened his grip on my shirt and is now just resting there, so that’s probably the best way to get him off me. I slowly move my left hand on top of his and gingerly curl my fingers around it, lifting it as slowly as possible off and away from my chest. Eventually Levi stirs and opens his eyes, pulling his hand out of mine and, thankfully, rolling off my arm. I take a deep breath and my eyes roll back as I regain control of my arm, just thankful it’s still usable.

Levi gets up and dresses before me, as per usual. I stay sitting on the edge of the bed, admiring the curves and contours of the captains body like I have done hundreds of times before. 

“Damn it brat,” I hear Levi say under his breath, eyeing the mess of paperwork left on his desk. After that, I get dressed as quickly as possible and scuttle off to breakfast before Levi has the chance to shout at me for letting him leave his desk like that. I’m surprised he could even sleep knowing his desk was so messy, although I don’t think I’ve ever seen him in the state he was in last night. Everything he did was uncharacteristic of him. Wandering off in the night, grabbing at me in bed like that. I guess I always fall asleep before he does so he could have done this several times before without me even knowing. How many nightmares does he have?

The chatter at breakfast focusses mainly on the training exercise later. Once again I have to return to the cellar to clean before the exercise starts; Levi couldn’t stand having me not do anything for the whole morning because apparently that’s a waste of my time that could be spent cleaning.

After breakfast I have to head straight back to the cellar, just like last time. I’ll spend the morning with Levi, have lunch, and then the training exercise, which is slightly earlier than the previous failed one. The weather is also a lot cooler, and they have changed the route to be easier and on flatter ground, just over the countryside for a few miles in different formations. Should be easy enough, as long as I don’t do anything stupid again and we just stick to the plan.

It seems as if the captain has forgotten entirely about last night and is back to his usual confrontational self. I walked into the cellar to see him looking into his special secret closet, but I have given up trying to see what’s inside. He had given me a sly smirk as I came into view but I decided not to bite and ask what he’s smiling about because I already knew. He knows I want to know what’s in that closet, and he doesn’t want to show me, but that doesn’t mean he won’t tease me about it. Instead of asking about it again, I waited until he’d shut and locked the closet before getting out the cleaning supplies.

I have since taken to cleaning one corner of the room and Levi the other. Remarkably, he’d tidied away his paperwork from last night and wanted to take a break by cleaning instead. Such a weirdo, wanting to clean voluntarily. He’s taken one of the fluffy dusters to use and set to work clearing the various nooks and crannies of spider webs.

There are several brackets bolted to the wall to hold torches but they are deceptively high, and well out of the captain’s reach. As I work I can see him out of the corner of my eye struggling to reach up and dust the holders. He keeps glancing over to me to make sure I’m not looking but I can see perfectly well from here. I have to do everything in my power to stop myself from smiling, but I can’t help it and I feel the corners of my mouth straining upwards. Levi has always been so confident in himself, I’ve never heard him ask for help personally, and I don’t expect him to start now.

“Sir would you like me to clean that for you?” I call from across the room.

“Shut up brat, I can do it,” he snaps back. He’s obviously beginning to get frustrated, especially now he knows I can see him. I try to focus on my own cleaning but out of the corner of my eye I see Levi standing up on his toes to try to reach, which really is pitiful. Fine, if he’s not going to ask for help, I’ll just go over myself. I cross over the room and reach up to dust the bracket for him with an involuntary smirk.

“Sir you’re too short.”

Levi immediately straightens up and stares me down. Suddenly his hands are on my shoulders, shoving me hard backwards into the cold stone wall with a thud. He pushes his face in front of mine, his thin eyebrows furrowed and his teeth bared. I can smell his familiar smell; it’s crisp like laundry but this time with a hint of earth, maybe olive? His scent doesn’t do anything to reduce how intimidating he looks.

“What did you just say?” he snarls at me. The pain of him pushing into the wall radiates through my shoulders like fire. Okay, that actually really hurt. The smile is wiped from my face instantly.

“I said you can’t reach sir. _You’re too small_ ,” I snap back at him, almost spitting those last words. It’s amazing how fast this situation has changed for the worst.

“Shut the fuck up brat, I’ll show you how big I am,” he growls in a low tone, shoving my shoulders into the wall again and eyeing me up and down. I can feel his body slowly pushing further towards me, and my back pressing more firmly against the wall. He may be shorter than me but that doesn’t mean he’s any less intimidating.

I’m trying to ignore what he said but I just can’t any more. He’s gone back to trying to rile me up again, after a short break of leaving me alone. I was stupid to think it would last, and he wouldn’t do anything more. I think back to my conversation with Hanji, I can’t believe I cried over this. This time, I refuse to be flustered by him and I’m going to address him about it just like I promised myself.

“Stop saying those things to me, and stop _touching me_ ,” I retort, bringing my hands up to his shoulders and shoving, hard. I’m preparing to fight for myself now; Levi could beat me unconscious if he wanted to, but I can’t stand around and let him walk all over me anymore. I know I’m pushing it here but I need to tell him how I feel, and I can’t hold it back. There’s something wrong with him if he can’t understand me now. Levi doesn’t seem the least bit daunted by my outburst, his face just holds a deeper scowl. I think I’ve just made him angrier, his chest is heaving against me.

“I said _shut up_ brat.” Levi growls, shoving me again.

“Make me,” I shout into his face, shoving him back. I don’t even care that I’m not being respectful anymore. I’m sure he’s going to hit me now, I snap my eyes closed as suddenly his hands move up and rip the cloth mask off my face. He grabs fistfuls of my hair and my head is yanked forward sharply, Levi’s lips crashing into mine. Before I can pull back he rolls his hips into mine, eliciting a sharp gasp from my lips and his tongue is suddenly in my open mouth.

I want to push him off but I find I can’t move. He continues to move hungrily around my mouth, his hands gently tugging at my hair. So many new sensations I haven’t experienced before and it feels too good to stop. All memory of my frustration with Levi’s actions melts away into his hot lips. My tongue meets his and I find his taste is delicious. What the hell was I even mad about? I give up resisting and I sink into his hungry kiss instead.

The moment I release myself to him he exhales sharply and yanks my hair back pulling my chin up and my lips away from his. He’s panting, his grey eyes are glazed over and his mouth is hanging open. He’s shaking holding my head back away from him.

“What are you doing to me?” Levi breathes, his voice unsteady. He’s still frowning, but he doesn’t seem angry any more, it’s something else. My lips are quivering. I stare longingly down at his mouth, begging to taste him again. My vision is suddenly hazy and I blink at him with half-lidded eyes, my mouth hanging open. I’m panting, my body heaving, begging for something more. I try speaking but the words are garbled and I’m breathing too heavily for anything to make sense. I only manage to plead a single word.

“More-”

Levi seems more than happy to oblige. He slowly leans forward and drags his gaze from my lips to my eyes. As he nears my mouth once more, his eyelids gently close and I can see his body is shaking. Is he holding back? I’d close my eyes too but his face is too perfect in this expression I can’t look away. I feel the softness of his lips touch mine and my skin shivers under the sensation. Not like before, it’s not scary. I’m not worried about what he might do next. I want more of him. Levi’s hot tongue glides over my bottom lip, teasing me. He has that damn knowing smirk on his face again. He knows exactly what he’s doing to me. Finally, our lips push together and I feel my lips part as his probing tongue enters my mouth once more.

I’m not sure I know exactly what I’m doing, but I try to mirror his movements as best I can. I can’t let go of the feeling that I must be hopeless at kissing, but I can’t stop myself from doing it either. I’m still not sure if this is really happening, but I don’t even care if I’m dreaming. My eyelids fall closed and I revel in the strange feeling. He’s gentler this time, taking his time to taste every corner of my mouth. His hands slowly release the bundles of my hair they’re holding and I slip through his fingers. He brings his arms around my neck instead, pulling me closer to him in a tight close embrace. My hands that had been pushing on his shoulders fall down and snake around his waist, pulling his hips into me.

I can feel the warmth of his crotch pushing firmly against my body. He pulls his hips back and slowly rolls back into me, rubbing his hips into my growing erection. He repeats the motion, and I’m way over half hard now, just from kissing and the slight friction of my underwear rubbing against my erection. I start to move my hips in rhythm with his, my erection aching for more attention, its only release the feeling of Levi slowly rubbing against me. I break away from his lips to gasp for breath, and his mouth moves slowly towards my ear instead. I feel his lips brush the sensitive skin around my neck, and he opens his mouth to speak.

Suddenly the door of the cellar slams open and Levi rips himself off me, shoving me hard backwards into the wall.

“Morning!” Hanji sings from the doorway.

“What the fuck did I tell you about knocking?” Levi growls at her. His arms have dropped to his side now but we are still standing uncomfortably close, and I’m panting hopelessly. My lips are still tingling from the unfamiliar feeling of him pressed against me.

“Maybe I _should_ start knocking, who knows what you guys are up to down here these days,” she chuckles. “Eren, I keep coming to check your temperature at the wrong time,” she looks over at me, still smiling.

“Well then maybe you should stop coming down here,” Levi retorts. He moves away from me and sits down in his chair before Hanji can. Instead, she walks over and plants herself down on top of his desk. I can see him glaring at her with clenched teeth.

“I’m going to take a shower,” I squeak from behind them, my voice cracking slightly.

“That’s probably best sweetie. I’ll do your tests afterwards,” Hanji smiles as I swiftly walk past her towards the bathroom.

Once I’m inside I slam the door behind me and rest my back against the door. I’m still breathless and my head is still spinning. Did that just happen? One minute we were arguing and the next… I told myself I would say something to him, I don’t want all this inappropriate touching. But that felt… amazing. I would do that again.

I start the flow of water and step under immediately. Its freezing but that’s exactly what I need, and I hold myself under the water for as long as I can stand it, willing the water to flush all the different sensations from my body. I close my eyes and tilt my head back, letting the freezing water flow across my flushed face. My head still hurts from Levi yanking my hair. When I can no longer feel my toes I decide it’s time to get out. Thankfully, my erection has now completely disappeared with the cold, and my temperature is back to normal.

When I leave the bathroom Hanji is already gone. I’m told to go see her as soon as possible to have my tests done by a stoic Levi. There is nothing about his expression that conveys what happened only a few minutes ago. He doesn’t even look up from his paperwork. How can he show so little emotion after something like that? I don’t know what I expected him to say, but I’m a little disappointed. I wanted him to be somehow different after this. Maybe my expectations were too high.

I head out the cellar for Hanji’s office, leaving Levi sitting at his desk in silence behind me, trying in vain to forget about the best kiss I’ve ever had.

***

 

_Levi_

 

“More-”

It’s a fucking pleasure to hear those words come out of Eren’s mouth. It’s a pleasure to make this kid make those beautiful noises, to make his heart beat so wildly in his chest because of the press of my lips on his own, and my body against his. His face is flushed red and full of lust, his eyes are lidded and his mouth is hanging open gasping for breath.

I’m doing my best to hold back, or I don’t know how far I would push it. I don’t want to push him too far and ruin everything. I can feel my body shaking as I run my tongue over his lips, teasing him with the unfamiliar feeling. Eren’s lower lip quivers at the sensation and it almost makes me laugh. I can tell he’s not had much experience with this, but the kid seems determined to learn, and that’s such a turn on.

His lips are so deliciously soft; I need to taste him again. My tongue slowly pushes into his mouth and meets his. His hands drop down from my shoulders to my waist and he uses them to guide my hips into him in a slow steady rhythm. I let his hair fall through between my fingers and hug his neck tightly instead, closing the space between us as much as possible.

It’s somewhat embarrassing that just kissing this kid will get me hard, but what the hell. I firmly push my erection into his hips. I want him to feel me, I want him to know exactly how he affects me. Do you like that, Eren? Do you want to feel more of me? He’s definitely getting off to this. Maybe if I keep going I can make the brat come in his pants. The thought amuses me so much I want to see how far I can push it. I know I’m getting carried away here but I can’t help myself; I haven’t been this close to someone for too long now, and my body aches for it. I let his hands hold my hips firmly and guide my growing erection into him.

Suddenly I hear the door of the cellar slam open. Shit. I push Eren back into the wall and yank us apart, whipping my head around to see Hanji standing in the doorway.

“Morning!” she sings across the room.

“What the fuck did I tell you about knocking?” I snap. I don’t care if she knows what me and Eren get up to down here but I will have to if she’s just going to show up unannounced like that and burst through the door.

I remember that the last time Hanji was in here she practically forced me out of my own office, so I make a beeline for my chair as soon as I see her move. Instead, she walks over and plants herself down on top of my desk and slaps her filthy hands down on the surface. When was the last time she bathed? I try not to think about.

My chest is still heaving, but I’m trying to control my breathing as much as possible. Eren is still pressed against the wall, reeling from our kiss. I can see his erection straining at his trousers.

“I’m going to take a shower,” he squeaks.

“That’s probably best sweetie. I’ll do your tests afterwards,” Hanji smiles as him as he practically runs out of the room. The bathroom door slams shut and Hanji and I are left alone in the cellar.

“So…” she starts, “what have you two been doing this morning?” she says with a smirk.

“Shut up shitty glasses.”

“I thought you said there was nothing going on here,” she remarks, raising one eyebrow. She always pretends like she knows all the goings on around here.

“There wasn’t anything going on.... Now there is. Obviously.” I didn’t plan this, much to her disappointment, I’m sure. I never thought anything would actually come of this stupid need to be close to someone.

“Well you know I said I don’t care what you do, as long as you’re not pushing Er-.”

“I’m not talking about this with you,” I cut her off.

“Although from what I saw it didn’t look like you were pushing him, it looked like he was pretty into it really,” she continues, ignoring me completely.

“I’m not doing anything stupid. You don’t need to concern yourself with our business.”

“ _Our_ business is it?”

“Yes, what if it is?” I’m getting well ahead of myself here. I don’t really want to put the image of me and Eren as an item into her head, but I think it’s already too late. It’s not like anything is going to come out of this, I’m just tired of having nobody to mess around with. It’s been too long. And so what if I want to get close to him, there’s nothing wrong with that; I know where to draw the line.

“Well, I hope you know what you’re getting yourself into Levi.” I hate that she pretends she knows what’s best for me. I’m not getting into anything with this kid, we haven’t even done anything yet.

“Get out. I have work to do.” She stares me down for a moment. I can tell she’s contemplating what to say next, and it better not be what I think it is. Instead she stays silent and sighs as she turns to leave.

“Tell Eren to come by my office after he’s done in the bathroom then,” she says over her shoulder. Once she’s out of the room, I roll back into my chair and close my eyes. Fuck, Eren. What am I doing?

***

 

_Eren_

 

When the training exercise rolls around, the sun is already high in the sky, but thankfully there is a cool breeze and the sky is dotted with clouds, so it’s not unbearably hot like last time. We’re almost at the half way point of the twenty-mile expedition; we spent the first few hours quietly navigating the vast areas of boring countryside, the horses slowly plodding along, following our instructions to change into different formations.

At the moment, Mikasa and Jean are leading the company, followed by Christa and Ymir, then Armin and Bertholdt, and finally Reiner and myself. Connie and Sasha were assigned to a separate group for today, which prompted a wealth of jokes about the two of them; Jean is adamant that there is something going on between the two of them, but honestly I haven’t seen anything that would suggest that, and I wouldn’t be surprised if Jean was lying.

I’ve been debating telling Armin what happened this morning with Levi, but I just can’t stomach it right now. Hanji said I should share my problems with my friends, but I’m not convinced on how much good it would do. If anything, it’s more likely that word would get out and then everyone would know. I’m sure Armin would keep it to himself though, he’s always kept his promises. What the hell.

“Hey Bertholdt, can I swap places with you?” He swings his head around at look at me.

“I don’t know Eren, I don’t want to get in trouble. We’re supposed to stay in formation.”

“Come on Bertl. There’s nobody here, no one will see,” I persuade, and he reluctantly agrees. I’m sure he’d rather talk to Reiner instead anyway; Armin isn’t exactly one for casual conversation. Bertholdt and I swap places, and line my horse up next to Armin’s.

“Armin can I talk to you?” I ask shakily.

“Uhh, sure. What is it?” I can tell he’s already concerned, he always seems to have that constant worried look on his face.

“It’s nothing bad, don’t worry. It’s about Captain Levi.” Armin’s face softens instantly. I think he’s just assuming this is going to be some other complaint about Levi working me too hard or something.

“Okay, well what is it?” I don’t want to jump right into it and tell him what happened this morning; that would surely throw Armin off and he’d shut down, pretending to not want to know because he’d be too embarrassed.

“Have you noticed him acting weird lately?”

“No… I don’t think so. You spend more time with him anyway, you’d be the first to know. Why do you ask?”

“I don’t know; he just seems… strange lately.” I’m not sure how far to take this conversation; I don’t know why I thought Armin would be good to talk to about this stuff, I could have at least picked someone with a little more experience. Heck, there was even a rumour that Jean and Marco were messing around with each other back when we were cadets, not that I would dare to tell Jean about this. I can’t just leave this little chat at that, Armin will get suspicious and start asking question, or worse; asking our other friends why I was asking about Levi in the first place. And I can’t have that.

“I… I think I have a crush on him,” I blurt out at him. We are both incredibly silent for what feels like forever. I’m waiting for Armin to say something but he just doesn’t. I can just hear the low chatter of the rest of my group and the sound of the horses’ hooves plodding through the thick grass. I can’t even look at him for a response, I’m too afraid he’s going to laugh at me or something. I shouldn’t backtrack because I’ve already said it now but my mouth can’t help it. “I know it’s stupid, I shouldn’t have said anything. It’s nothing, really-”

“That’s not stupid at all Eren,” he cuts me off. “You two are so close all the time, I’m not really surprised. I know how you feel,” he remarks casually. I snap my head up to look at him. He’s completely calm, just looking forward and watching the path being cut in the grass like everyone else.

“Wait. You… know how I feel?” Armin’s face instantly flushes red and his eyes widen as he realises what he’s said; I can tell I’ve hit a soft spot here. How on earth could Armin understand how I feel? That means…

“Armin, do you have a crush on someone?” I press. I see his face screw up and he drops his head down, avoiding my gaze. “You do!?” Armin has feelings for someone? Armin has feelings? Armin. I don’t think he’s ever had a crush on anyone his whole life, or at least if he has, he’s kept it to himself. We weren’t exactly the type of friends to talk about this stuff. This is a first for me.

“Eren _shush_ ,” he replies in a hush, flicking his eyes around under his hair to make sure nobody else heard.

“On who?” I whisper back, leaning towards him. I’ve never spoken to Armin about his likes and dislikes; it could literally be anyone here. I’m guess it must be one of our friends, those are the only people Armin talks to anyway. I look around at our group, everyone both in front and behind us are well out of earshot. My best guess would be Christa; everyone seems to fall in love with her at some point, although having Ymir hanging around her all the time kind of puts you off. Armin reluctantly lifts his head up and his eyes dart towards the front of the company before he looks at me, a telling clue.

“So it’s Mikasa then,” I declare with a proud smirk. I’m not too surprised by that, I thought I had a crush on Mikasa for a while too.

“N- no,” Armin argues quietly. I flick my eyes up to the front again and then I realise.

“Jean!?”

“Eren!”

“Eren?” Jean snaps his head around and eyes me suspiciously. “What do you want?”

“Pay less attention to Mikasa and more attention to the track, horse face,” I should back at him, trying to keep my cool. I’m impressed I managed to come up with something that quickly.

“Why, you jealous?” he calls with a shit-eating grin, turning to grin at Mikasa. She’s not even looking at him, and he thinks he has a chance with her? Hah, Mikasa isn’t interested in anyone, at least not romantically. In any case, I’ve thrown him off the track of what me and Armin are talking about. I snap back to Armin and I can almost see tears in his eyes, his cheeks are a furious shade of pink. He’s just looking down at his own hands, his hair falling over his face.

“Armin, are you serious?” I whisper gently.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” he mumbles from under his hair. I can’t help but smile pitifully at him; it’s like hearing that your little kid brother has a crush on some girl in his class. Despite that, the thought doesn’t dispel any worries I have about him. It doesn’t make any sense to me, Jean is so… mean. He literally made me split my head open last week. We get into a fist fight on an almost weekly basis.

“I’m not being rude, but why on earth would you have a crush on _him_?”

“I don’t know. I could ask you the same thing.” I think about that reply for a moment. I guess we’re both in similar situations; we both have feelings for people who have so much trouble showing anyone their true feelings that it’s impossible to tell whether they really like you or not, platonically or otherwise. It’s only now that the obvious lacking information enters my mind.

“So you like men then. You’re gay?” I ask tentatively. Armin seems to prefer this question and lifts his head up to me. Thankfully he looks calmer now, his face is more or less back to its usual colour.

“I don’t know,” he replies quietly. “I’m a bit confused right now.”

“Me and you both,” I sigh. I guess I never really thought about whether I was gay or not. I knew I liked men, but I never considered putting a word on it. We leave the conversation at that for now. It’s nice to have someone going through the same thing as me right now. The conversation had flipped dramatically from my confession to Armin’s, so I feel better about telling him about Levi in the first place; at least Armin has an equally, if not more, embarrassing crush.

Unlike the first exercise, the rest of the expedition passes uneventfully. I don’t end up doing anything stupid, and we all end up back at the castle earlier than expected. Dinner is ready by the time we get back, so we all head straight to the dining hall after tying up our horses. By the time everyone heads off to their barracks, I’m already exhausted. The exercise wasn’t exactly hard but it was so long and so boring, it’s like I’ve been half asleep for hours already.

***

Levi’s left hand slaps hard onto my chest, and my eyes shoot open. It’s the middle of the night. The cellar around us is pitch black, and I can barely see my own hands. Everything is silent, aside from the heavy panting next to me. Levi is lying to my right, I can feel him shaking slightly and sweating. His skin is furiously hot where it’s pressed against mine. I can’t see his face, but I know he’s still asleep.

“Sir?” I whisper tentatively, putting my hand on his shoulder.

“S-stop,” he shudders. I instantly retract my hand from him, but he’s not talking to me. He’s having another nightmare. Suddenly he begins shuddering intensely, his breathing becomes impossibly fast and shallow. His eyes are squeezed shut and his face is tightly screwed up in a furrowed mess. There are tears escaping from the corners of his eyes. I’m starting to panic now and I don’t know what to do.

“Captain!” I shout at him, grabbing his shoulders harder and trying to stop him from shaking so violently by holding him down. I can feel tears leaking down my face now too. Should I get someone to help me? I can’t wake him up, and it’s scaring me.

“Captain, please, wake up!” Suddenly Levi’s eyes shoot open and he throws himself forwards. He’s sat up in bed, hunched over himself, his head hanging down between his shoulders. Everything is silent again, I can feel my heart beating frantically in my throat. The captain doesn’t say anything, and I don’t dare touch him.

“Levi… Are you alright?” There is no reply. Instead, Levi slowly uncurls himself and flops down back into the bed. The tears have stopped falling down my face and I wipe over my cheeks with the back of my hand. As I lie back down in the bed, Levi silently moves to repeat the other night, turning to snake his arm over my chest and burrowing his head into my shoulder.

But somehow this situation is all wrong, this isn’t like the other day. Despite how scary the captain can be, I look down at him with pity. Levi was an orphan who grew up in the harsh, unforgiving underground. While I could have just crawled into bed with my mother, there was nobody there to comfort him when he had nightmares. He’s had nobody to help him his entire life, and I know he’s choosing to stay close to me because I’m the closest thing to comfort that he’s had for a long time. Without realising I open my mouth and my mother’s faintly familiar words come flowing out in an almost whisper.

“Der Mond ist aufgegangen…” I didn’t even know I remembered this song, and it’s amazing how unembarrassed I am in this situation. I don’t think I’ve ever sung to anyone, at least not like this. “Die goldnen Sternlein prangen… Am Himmel hell und klar.”

My mother would sing this to me when I had a nightmare and couldn’t’ stop crying in the night. Although I’m not sure this is even helping at all, I’m probably just keeping Levi awake. He’s not protesting though. Maybe he thinks it’s making me feel better knowing I’m trying to help.

“Der Wald steht schwarz und schweiget, und aus den Wiesen steiget der weiße Nebel wunderbar.” Remarkably, my tongue flows over the words like I had spoken them hundreds of times before. My mother once told me that back when there were different countries, people spoke different languages, and this poem was written in one of them. Not many people speak like that anymore, but my mother could, and I wish she had taught me more before she died. She had learned it from her grandmother, who would sing it to her as a child too. The words can be translated into our language too, and I doubt Levi understands the original words anyway, so I sing that too.

“The moon has risen, the little golden stars shine in the sky so clear and bright. The woods stand dark and still… And out of the meadows rise a wonderful mist.”

When I stop, an awkward silence fills the air. I’m not that great a singer, unlike my mother, but I hope he appreciates my effort. I’m quite proud that I unashamedly made it through the whole song. Levi lifts his head and looks up at me, slowly dragging himself up towards my face. I don’t think I’ve ever seen his deep grey eyes so beautiful. He looks like he’s going to say something but instead he presses his lips into a soft kiss on my cheek, and then drops back down onto my chest with a sigh.

I’m starting to notice two sides to Levi; the kind that will watch me get dressed and push me up against the wall, and the kind that will have violent nightmares and go outside to watch the stars to calm himself down. And then gently kiss me on the cheek. As much as I’d like to think that Levi needs me, I know that I couldn’t do without him either, and I couldn’t really imagine being without him now. Whenever Levi needs me, I’ll be here for him; to sleep on, moan to about paperwork, or cry on for as long as he wants.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, I really love this chapter. It was so much more fun to write than the previous one, and I think it comes across in the writing style. I hope you guys enjoyed this little teaser of things to come, and who knew Eren could sing? And in German too *sweats*. Let me know in the comments if you guys enjoyed this chapter, and there will be more to come!

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave me comments, I want to give you all exactly what you want so let me know what you think!


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